Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Separation Anxiety

This weekend marked a very important milestone for P. It was the first time she had spent an entire 24 hours or more away from both of her parents. We have my brother in law's wedding coming up, and we knew that we needed to have a practice run. She will be away from us for 2 days, and I didn't want to just go cold turkey. It would drive me insane with worry.

I am happy to report that little miss P did a great job. She stayed at her Glammy and G-Daddy's house. When I walked in to get her--she glanced at me and just went right back to playing. She could care less that I was there. I, on the other hand, was ecstatic! I picked her up and gave her a big hug and kiss. I told her how much I loved her and missed her. The whole time she just whined to get back down to playing. How it hurt my heart and made me smile all at the same time.

While I am elated that she did so well out of her element for over 24 hours (this is not how I predicted it), there was a part deep down inside that was a little sad that she didn't seem to miss me. Don't get me wrong--I didn't want her to be inconsolably crying from the anxiety of being away from her mommy. But--dang--can I at least get a little whimpering? Can I get a sad tune of her repeating mamamamama? Nope, nothing. Just a happy, healthy, little P.

P also slept through the night while at my parents. If you want your baby to sleep well away from home--good luck. P normally hates sleeping in the Pack N Play. I finally figured it out that the PnP was for playing and not sleeping in her mind. At my parents house--they have their own PnP for P. We have been very careful to never let her play in this one. It is only for sleep while she is there. My parents bought a PnP mattress, mattress pad, and sheet. I highly recommend these things to all of you! It makes it more comfortable for her and more like a bed. We sent her with a blanket that I snuggled with the day before. That way it smelled of mommy. The blanket went in the PnP with her. Then she had her sound machine, pacifiers, and her lovie. All of these things combined for a happy baby P.

I now feel a little bit better about leaving her for 24 to 48 hours for the wedding. I will still be crazy missing her. I will still spend time rummaging through my photos of her on my phone. Truthfully I hope that part of me never changes. I love missing her.

I think I can successfully say that it is only me that experienced separation anxiety. I have become very controlling when it comes to P. I would prefer to do everything with her myself. I just feel like I do it better and with as little upset to her as possible. This may not be the best thing. When I watch anyone trying to do something with P--I hold my breath. I fight the urge to just do it myself.

She is a challenging baby. She is strong willed, and hard headed. My anxiety goes through the roof at the thought of someone else feeding her solids. I know that she cries, slaps, screams, and kicks me on a daily basis. I just cringed at the idea of her doing that to my mom. I worried that she wouldn't eat her food. That she wouldn't drink her milk. That she would be hungry and wouldn't sleep. But my mom found a way to get her to eat and sleep. HURRAY! I had nothing to worry about.

It is important for me to have time away from my daughter. I understand that. It was amazing to get to sleep in a little on Sunday morning! But--I think I still prefer to wake up to her smiling face each morning at 7 am sharp!

Do you have separation anxiety when being away from your little one? How do they do away from you? How do you cope?

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