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Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Birthday Blues


Every year around this time the same thing happens. December rolls around and brings with it so much excitement in our lives. P, J and I love Christmas and Hanukkah. I look forward to watching my girl open all of her gifts. I agonize over what to get her. I use the entire break from work to plan her birthday party in January, and that is when it hits me. Every. Single. Year. Just like the weight of an elephant sitting on my chest. My daughter is another year older.

It shouldn't make me sad. It is irrational in every way, yet every year it is the same process of grief. Watching back old videos of my squishy baby as she learned to sit up, crawl, and the walk. Looking at the pictures on Facebook from the day she way born, and the pictures I took each month to mark her growth. What I used to celebrate--I now mourn. Maybe I am just that sentimental. Maybe it is just me, but I have a feeling that I am not the only one.

It stems from many different issues within myself. The sadness and guilt that I feel for all of the time I have missed with her over the last year because I was working each day. Add the guilt I feel for the exhaustion that I greet her with each afternoon when she is just so excited to see me. I die a little bit inside if I let myself think about it. I know that she has grown into this brilliant, beautiful, and independent girl because of her school, but part of me will always feel guilty for sending her. I would make that choice a million times over. It was the right one for her and for our family, but I know that I miss a lot.

Then there is the other BIG issue in my life. That big question that I get asked at least twice a week. Will this be the last 3rd birthday I have to plan, or will there be another child? We go back and forth and by WE--I really mean J. While I have moments--mostly when P is being a typically Todzilla--where I think 1 is enough, but I always snap back to reality. I cannot imagine not doing it all over again. And if I really let myself think about it, it's devastating. If for some reason I couldn't have another, then I would be more than thankful for the one I have, but the idea of choosing to cheat myself out of this wonderful experience--that is a whole other animal.

I am fairly certain that most of my birthday blues stems from this last issue more than the first. As P gets older the finality of our family becomes more probable to me. The further J is away from the diapers and the midnight feedings--the less he is willing to entertain the conversation. The result is me sitting in the guest room sniffing old baby clothes with tears streaming down my cheeks.

I'm not saying any of this to bash my husband--I totally understand and can validate all of his feelings. I get it, and I even agree on some of his points. But this feeling is not a rational feeling. It is a hormonal, and maybe even primal urge. Chalk it up to evolution, nature--whatever. I cannot control myself.

Last weekend, Piper's friend Annabelle turned 3 and we went to her party. Annabelle recently got a new baby sister. I finally got to hold the baby at the end of the party, and it definitely made it worse. She smelled so amazing. She had that baby smell--you know what I mean? It's that sweet smell that is contained to their heads. I just kept sniffing her. Creepy-I know. The next day, Piper asked where her Ailey and Hampton (her other friend's baby brother) were? At first I just thought she meant where the actual babies were, but after talking with her I realized she was asking me where her baby sibling was. I told her that she didn't have a baby brother or sister, and then asked her if she wanted one. She said she did (sometimes she says she doesn't want one). I told J I had to go to the bathroom, but I really went and cried.

P is more than what I dreamed she would be, and I love her so completely that the next 15 year with her living under our roof will never be enough for me. She will have to have a room for me in her apartment at college--because I am moving in. When her birthday comes I will smile and celebrate with the whole family and all of her friends, but as I put her to bed that night I am sure that I will shed a few tears. I don't ever want this time in my life to end.

Happy Hump Day!
Caroline

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Shopping Guide For Her


One of my most read posts each year is my Christmas List. Just yesterday, I overheard two teachers in the hall struggling with what to get their wives for Christmas. While, I didn't volunteer any ideas at the time, I am more than willing to share them with you. Ladies, if you see something you like here--don't shy away from posting the link to this post on your husband's Facebook wall. Being subtle has gotten us all less appealing gifts in the past. Afterall, your husband really wants to make you happy and doesn't really want to waste money on something that will go unused. TRUST ME!

1. Boots!
I love getting boots for Christmas because I wear the crap out of them all winter long, and am always in need of a new pair by the next year. A good pair of brown riding boots like these...they would never be a disappointment.

2. Alex and Ani Bangles
If you know me, then you know I love these bangles. They are a great way to give a personlized gift without having to go through Etsy. Which is good because husbands do tend to procrastinate! I have a bangle with a P for my daughter's name. I also have one with her birthstone. Now, each time we go to a new place I get a bangle for that destination as well as a souvenir. Last year I added a Las Vegas, and a Disney 2016 bangle to my arm. This is a great way to show that you care and put thought into the gift. I am eyeing this particular bangle which is the zodiac sign for my daughter. I also like this one and this one for my husband and myself.

3. Old Navy Rockstar Colored Jeans
I love these jeans because I can get away with wearing them to work. They are stretchy and comfortable and I love them so so much. I want them in each and every color! They are the cutest way to add a pop of color to your wardrobe.

4. Mia Fit Cleansing Gift Set
The newest trend in skincare is the facial cleansing brush. I have yet to dive into this because they are pretty pricey. For that reason I think that it would be an awesome gift. I traditionally would not spend this much on myself in any one sitting, but I would get a ton of use out of it if I were to have it in my bathroom.

5. Sigma Brush Set
I am a girly girl who loves makeup. One thing I have learned through becoming a makeup artist is that makeup brushes make a big difference. You need quality stuff. I love this Sigma eye set because it is not too pricey, yet it is packed with useful tools. Sigma has a 2 year guarantee on all of their brushes. They are some the best quality out there, and therefore a great gift for any fashionista.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

The Three Year Old Christmas List

My-Oh-My! Little P will be turning three in a little over two months! Time has certainly flown by this past year, and she has become an actual child. She has definitely developed an imagination and a passion for play. I am so looking forward to the holiday season this year with P. I can't wait to watch her Oooo and Ahhh over all of her gifts.  After some research and some investigation these are my recommendations for safe bets for the two year olds on your Christmas list.

1. A Doll House
Even boys develop a nurturing side as this age. I've seen some great tree house doll houses for boys too. But my girl loves princesses and Peppa Pig. So we will focus on girls for this part of the post. Piper is getting this Peppa doll house from a family member this christmas, but I am tempted to get her the whole set. There is a school house, a train, and a car and mat set that looked like hours of playtime for my imaginative girl! Check them out here!


2. Puzzles and flashcards to help with letter and number development
P has been hard at work learning all of her letters. She is doing so well, but still struggles with retaining the information from day to day. She has most of the letters of her name down now! I want to continue to work on this, so any puzzle with letters or numbers or even flash cards is a good gift in my book. Piper is getting a talking Melissa and Doug Puzzle in both ABCs and numbers from Santa this year!

3. Doctor Kit
Last year I bought P a cheap doctor kit from Wal-Mart on a whim and she loved it. But I am thinking she would love this Doc McStuffins interactive set even more. It's got a sick Lamb that talks and interacts as you use the doctor tools to make him feel better. I think P would love this toy for sure! She is constantly doctoring me at home!
4. Play-Doh
My 3 year old loves to play play-doh. We have tons and tons of colors already. What we don't have a ton of is fun toys and shapes for the play-doh. So a play-doh set is always a crowd pleaser. I found this Minnie Play-doh set that P will be getting from her parents this year. 
5. Dress up Clothes
My little girl's imagination is through the roof these days. She loves to dress up and act out. Therefore, dress up dresses, shoes, tiaras, or play jewelry is always a good option for a gift for my three year old. I went out and bought an Ariel dress and headband set after Halloween for relatively inexpensive. My girl is going to love it! I am hoping to create a whole dress up corner in het play room after Christmas if she gets a few more outfits to cycle through.
6. Books and DVDs
Lastly, but certainly not least my little P loves to sit and go through books. We have so many that we probably need a more proper bookshelf to house them all. I am thinking that when she gets her "big bead" this summer, then we will buy a bookshelf for one wall, but until then we will just have to find a place for them all.
Lately, P has gotten to the point where she will set and watch an entire movie. Hallelujah! The time has come. Since we also go on lots of long car trips throughout the year--DVDs are an awesome present for P. We are slowly trying to build her library. Right now she has, Frozen. Dumbo, 101 Dalmations, The Little Mermaid, and Aladdin. We are always looking to expand this library!

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

When Best Friends Have Babies

Last weekend I threw a baby shower for one of my oldest and closest friends. It was a multitude of emotions for me for many reasons. I am simply thrilled to death that there will finally be another baby in my crew, but I would be untrue to myself if I didn't say that it stirs up many other feelings inside me.

I would be totally lying if I said that celebrating baby A didn't make me wish that there would one day be another baby for me. As I made the diaper cake I might have been spotted holding a few to my nose to breathe in that familiar scent of the Pamper Swaddler. If you are a mom you know what I am talking about. Each diaper has a slightly different scent and the Swaddler was my favorite. It reminds me of that newborn smell. It is like putting in an expressway to my ovaries. Then I think about how I had to fight with P last night to apologize to me after hitting me with a block (on purpose, that B****) and I doubt seriously the reason why I felt led to do all of this the first time. I am NOT a toddler person. Give me a newborn over a two year old any day. Whoever told you that these were the days was wrong. Give me my squishy, needy, hungry, sleepy, newborn back! You can take this french-braided tyrant in Elsa panties with you because she is wearing on my last nerve lately. Of course I am kidding, but I would be lying if I didn't feel that way sometimes.

Everyone who knows me knows that I am a sappy person. I can cry at the drop of a hat. A good commercial can make me weep. It doesn't take much. So on Sunday--as I helped my friend unwrap and organize her gifts and read her cards, I kept getting choked up. I  know what is coming for her in the months to come, and I know that it will change her heart in so many important ways. It will change her relationships; some for the good, and maybe some will fade away. Is is totally natural. Most all I am so excited to have a friend that has known me through all of the seasons of my life finally understand what it is like to be in my shoes. I look forward to the sharing of advice (which has already started) and the celebrating of those little milestones that come with parenting. I laugh softly to myself because I know that she has no clue what she has gotten herself into. I mean that in the best possible way--Kels. I know that she will understand all the craziness that I have been spouting over the last almost 3 years. She's one of my people, and I feel like with this new transition in her life we will get closer. Hopefully physically closer--as she lives in another state right now.

In my life friendships with other women have been a struggle. I don't make friends quickly, and I have lost some quality friends along the way. Some that I miss, and some that I don't. For the most part, I have a close group of a few girls, and I was the first one to procreate. That made me feel a bit out of place at times. I guess you could say I felt like I was in a different stage of my life than they were. I think it was hard for me to relate to their lives and vice versa. It isn't either of our faults really. Nevertheless, I feel hopeful that this is starting to change. I look forward to the next few months and years of raising our daughters together (maybe from close distances and maybe from afar).

Hopefully we will one day be older and slightly grayer celebrating the successes of our daughters. Doesn't that sound crazy, but so good all at the same time.

Congrats My Friend.


Wednesday, October 12, 2016

My Disney Bag!


Now that I am a Disney Pro (I might be a little bit too cocky) I think I have a good Idea of what to keep in my Disney bag for a successful trip.

Here is a peek into my Disney bag.

1. Toys for lines--even though we never pulled out a single toy--we came prepared. All kids are different and you just never know when they might come in handy. What types of toys did I pack? glad you asked. I wen to the local dollar tree and stocked up on mini coloring books with stickers, and a mini magna-doodle (which P plays with at home more than it's regular sized counterpart). I also ordered a light up Elsa wand. I also included her favorite lovey and blanket. Not really toys, but there in case she gets upset.

2. Ponchos--It always rains in Florida. Our first trip we didn't get rained on at all, but our last trip it rained every day at the park. I would also suggest keeping an empty ziplock bag or two in your bag so that you can put your wet ponchos in that once the rain stops. You might also consider a stroller cover. We didn't have one, but it would have been nice. Instead we used an extra poncho to keep P's seat dry when we were in lines.

3. Food--My bad was bursting to the brim with food and snacks. I also recommend bringing a cooler. We kept ours in the small bin under our stroller. In it I put our sandwiches, P's applesauce, and plenty of drinks. As far as snacks this was my list:

1. A ziplock bag of cheerios, goldfish, and chips each
2. A large ziplock filled with packs of peanut butter crackers, fruit snacks, rice krispie treats, and cookies.
3. A ziplock bag full of Dum Dums suckers in case of tantrums. We didn't have to use them, but I saw this on our last trip from another mom and thought it was brilliant. Her kid started to scream and she whipped one of those suckers out so fast. The kid was instantly silent. So smart!

4. Sunscreen, Sunglasses, and chapstick--DUH!

5. Bandaids--we actually needed one at the park. You can go to first aid, but who wants to waste time with that?

6. Hand Sanitizer and Santizing Wipes!--every time that P touched anything or rode a ride--we were constantly santizing her hands to prevent illness. Looks like we did a good job!

7. I pad or tablet--this we used for breaks and lunchtime for P. It was a great way for her to unwind while Mommy and Daddy rode Space Mountain!

8. Mister fan--I actually forgot ours on this trip, but I will definitely remember it next time! I noticed it was gone. It's great to keep your little complainer cool on those hot afternoons.

9. A spare change of clothes or two in separate gallon ziplock bags. Just in case your little one has accidents. Our girl was not completely potty trained, so we did this. However, I ended up putting her in a pull up each day. She kept it dry too! I didn't trust her.

10. Hair ties--can't leave home without these

11. Minnie ears and bow! I made my own for P instead of buying them there. So much cheaper. I'll do a post on those eventually.

That's about it. I really do think being organized like this has made us prepared for whatever comes our way!

What was in your Disney bag?




Wednesday, October 5, 2016

The Happiest Trip on Earth


That's right, this post is going to be about our second trip to Disney with a two year old.

It never ceases to amaze me how much my child changes from week to week, and even daily. The last time we went to Disney, she was 27 months old. This time she was 32 months old. While, you might not think it would make much of a difference. The whole time I was walking around the parks--I was remembering all of the baby things we still had at the last visit that we no longer are using.

The last time we were at Disney, P carried her Paci, Bunny, and Blanket into each park every day. AND she was in diapers! She was also still sleeping in a crib at home and a Pack N Play while were were in Orlando. This trip we were sans Paci and she slept in a Queen sized bed all by herself. She did ask for Bunny once or twice, but really didn't care much once we bought her a Flounder. The whole trip, if nothing else, reminded me of just how grown up my child is becoming.

During this trip she had not only matured in the the physical sense like above, but also emotionally and psychologically. On the last trip she was terrified by many of the rides, and was unable to understand that the rides could not hurt her, and that they were not scary--no matter how many times I reassured her. This time--she totally got it. She was able to go through all of the rides for kids her age. She even rode her first roller coaster! The Barnstormer.

She has also become a pro at waiting in lines. Granted, we didn't try any that were longer than 30 minutes, but she did excellent in every line we took her in.

Just like last time--she loves meeting the characters. This is why we enjoy taking her too. There is nothing like seeing your child meet Mickey. She actually believes that she met the Mickey that she watches every afternoon on Micky Mouse Clubhouse. It is real to her...the magic is real. I always get a lump in my throat watching her give Mickey and Minnie hugs and kisses. I am so thankful that I was able to take her to Disney while she is young enough to still believe in it all.

Last time we went to Disney I wrote a post about how we survived. So I thought that I would add some updates!

1. Get there 30 minutes early
I still stand by this. You want to be driving in the park (particularly Magic Kingdom) 30 minutes before it opens. This is because it takes you a ridiculous amount of time to park, ride the tram to the gates, take the monorail or ferry to the park entrance, and then go through security. The first two hours that the park is open are the shortest the rides will be all day long. You want to take advantage of that!

2. Bring in your own food
I stand by this one as well. We did not eat lunch in the park on most days. It is just too expensive. P wont eat much anyway outside of PB&J, so there is just no point. J and I packed a sandwich for each of us and plenty of different types of snacks. I mean snack overkill--just in case. It saves so much money. We did however, spring for ice cream each day. It was a welcome break that we all needed.

3. Take small breaks
This time we did not take P back for a nap mid-day. I was terrified of her missing her nap. I was sure that she would become really cranky. BUT she was fine. Yeah, I know--I always doubt her. Instead of a nap we gave P lots of mini breaks here and there. We took a long lunch each day. We would take breaks here and there where she would just sit in the shade and watch the Ipad while mommy and daddy got to ride something they wanted to ride. Then we would have our ice cream break each late afternoon.

Overall, I really think skipping the nap allowed P much more time to enjoy the park without the hassle of trying to get out of the park, eat lunch, and take a nap. Instead we went strong from 9-5 and even 9-7 the last day (although I do think that was definitely overkill for her).

4. Be flexible
This is a huge one. Since the lines were short (September is a great time to go to Disney!) we really let P lead our time at the park. If she wanted to ride something multiple times--we let her do it. There were times we bribed her away from something with ice cream or food. For the most part, we did what she wanted to do. We even pushed her to try things that I was sure she would be scared of. Turns out, she loved Pirates of the Caribbean. Who would have thought? I still stayed away from the Philharmagic--April's experience scarred me from that one.

Heading to Disney? Hit me up for more details.
Caroline

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Summer Lovin




Had me a blast! Such a blast that I did not have the time, or the desire (sorry) to write the blogs that I promised you guys at the beginning of the summer. I'm so bad at this lately. I am having a bit of a blog identity crisis in all actuality. This blog started as a way to chronicle my journey into motherhood. Now my baby is 2 1/2, and that title doesn't really fit for me anymore. I have really struggled trying to find a new identity blog-wise. I'm working on it. Maybe I should just have another baby to solve that problem. (I'm kidding, Jared!)

This summer has been full of fun. This was the first year that we really started traveling a lot. We no longer fear the long car rides with P. She is a great little car rider (I'm so totally knocking on wood right now). We even took our first trip sans kids since P was born. It was so much fun we are already planning next summer. AND I may or may not be taking my child back to Disney World for the second time in 6 months. I know, I'm totally nuts!

Summer really did just fly by. But during these two months we have managed to get a lot done. We successfully quit the crib, and transitioned P to a big girl bed. AND we are almost completely PACI FREE!!!!! AHHH! If you know P then you know she was mightily attached to both of those things, but she has done a stellar job so far.

Then there is the potty training. It is still a process with both good days and bad. P definitely knows when she has to go and can hold it, but will sometimes boycott when she is upset or angry. Number 2 in the potty is pretty much a no go as P still struggles badly with constipation.

I threw a baby shower last weekend for one of my Mommy and Me friends who is having her second little girl. It affirmed in me in so many ways how much I love to host parties and showers. I love my friends and love to celebrate the moments in their lives that are so special. I found myself being choked up the whole day (no one noticed, thank god). I don't know what that is all about other than the fact that I am a big ol' softie. I had loads of fun planning and working on the event, and look forward to hosting another one in November for another close friend. Gah--everyone around me is pregnant it seems. I really should get paid to do this. Maybe one day--sigh!

I'll be honest this summer got me thinking a lot about the future and where I want to go. I have always felt really led to be a mom, and since I gave birth to P I have felt that my family was not yet done expanding. But over the last few weeks I find myself struggling internally with the thought of having that second baby and becoming a family of four (sometimes 5). It is such a monumental decision, and it is not one to be made halfheartedly.

When I think about P being the only baby I birth, nurse, and cuddle I feel the lump in the base of my throat start to grow. Like I have said before, when you experience that type of love--you want more. I so want to do all of those tiny baby things again. I REALLY do. I don't fear sleepless nights. or even labor. None of those deter me. What does is toddlerhood--because I AM NOT a toddler person. I don't enjoy toddlerhood as much as I enjoyed the first year. I am being totally honest here. Anyone else out there with me? no? I'm just terrible all by myself out here on the island. OK then.

Don't get me wrong there are so many great things about toddlerhood. P says the craziest things, but her mood swings are unbelievable. I fear that homegirl might torture a baby brother or sister. I'm 100 percent serious about that.

I also fear that I won't be as good the second time. There are so many things I want a do over for--like breastfeeding. But I also worry that I've forgotten how to do all of those baby things. I know I would pick it back up, but part of me dreads having to go back to those things after being away for so long.

Then there is actually being pregnant. I do NOT look forward to that. I had a very easy pregnancy with P, but I worked from home. The next one I would be on my feet all day. That would be killer. I don't know if I could handle the horrible morning sickness while working.


But a decision has to be made one way or the other soon. The jury is still out on this one. I know which way I am leaning right now, though. You'll just have to stay tuned to see what (if anything) happens.

Happy Friday Friends!
Caroline

Monday, June 13, 2016

Two-nager on the loose!




BOY! Did summer vacation start off with a bang or what? The first week into our summer vacation and the transmission goes out in my car. So we spent all of our spare time car shopping last week. Whew! I am exhausted, but I love my new car! There are very few smells that I would prefer over the smell of a new car. Anyway--I am already off topic.

Summer means more time to spend with my girl. Each day is filled with both laughter and plenty of tears. Hey--being two is hard. She is testing her limits and finding out, at least a lot of the time, that she cannot do whatever she wants to do. I would love to tell her that that fact will change as she gets older--but it doesn't. At least, not really.

We are dealing the the devil right now--getting rid of the pacifier. I know, I know, she shouldn't have been allowed to keep it this long, but hear me out. After she was about 9 months old--I had regulated the paci to just the crib and the car. Then she went through a string on illnesses, and it was the only thing that comforted her. So... I let my sick child have her paci all the time while she was sick. Go ahead and put me on trial. I am totally guilty of causing this problem myself. Now, she is hooked on the dang thing. Anytime she slips and falls, or gets mad at me or J--it's the PACI she wants. So yesterday, J and I had finally had enough. We said no. So ensued a 20 minute tantrum over the darn thing. We held firm and distracted her with an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Once she was calm we explained that she can only have paci at nap and bedtime (also in the car because we are about to take a trip to Virginia, and I need my sanity). She accepted the terms willingly.

After nap she had another issue with giving the paci up. But, we successfully distracted her with going to the pool. WIN!!!

When it was time for her to go to bed--She went to bed SOOOOO much easier because she knew she was only going to get that paci once she was down in her crib and ready to go to sleep. This is another issue of ours that we are dealing with. More on this later. Then this morning she woke up, got dressed, and was ready for breakfast. Before going downstairs I said, "ok, put paci night-night." Without issue she walked it to her crib and but it in. No issue, no tantrum. Hopefully we are on the road to recovery for paci addiction. One thing at a time. Next transition, the big girl bed.

We are going to wait to introduce the big girl bed until after our vacation. I am afraid if I go ahead and transition her now, then she will not want to sleep in the Pack N Play on vacation. I am not ready to sleep in the bed with her. I still want my own bed on vacation. BUT I already have my eye on some pretty Peppa Pig bedding for her toddler bed. Any tips for the transition mommies out there? I would appreciate it!

After talking with a few of P's friend's parents--I realized that the current sleep issues we are having are normal. I have always had the child that went to bed pretty happily. She loved naps and would ask to go down for one. You could put her down and walk out without any problem. But in the last two weeks--it has become quite the process to get P to go to sleep period. It is a battle of the wills where she tries to bargain for another kiss or hug. What used to take 5 minutes was taking quadruple that. Once again, probably my fault. I knew that if I didn't give in to these requests, then it would become a 45 minute tantrum. In the end, I had to tighten it up a bit and let her whine and cry for a few minutes once I put her down. She will eventually fall asleep on her own. I know this is going to get more intense once she moves to a bed she can actually get out of.

Potty wise we are doing ok. She still never WANTS to go potty. She will almost always so no if you ask if she has to go, but as long as you take her every hour to hour and a half, then she stays accident free. Except for number 2. P struggles so mightily with constipation that number 2 is painful at times, and therefore she is afraid to go. We are working on it, but it still has a long way to go. Once again, I would welcome any tips.

Overall she is my little sour patch kid. Sour one moment and sweet the next. She loves to dance, sing, play soccer, swim, and terrorize her parents. I love her fiercely, and yet welcome my little breaks each day. As everyone keeps telling me-- I will even miss this in a few years.

Happy Thursday Y'all!

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

When She Drives Me To Tears


Last night was one of those nights. P had an accident with potty training at school where she literally fell off of the potty and peed all over herself. I think it scarred her a bit, and therefore she was very mean to me all afternoon.

Even though I know that she is a toddler, and that she can only control her bodily functions. I understand that she was frustrated and disappointed in herself. I knew she was taking it out on me because she is most comfortable with me. I know that she was doing it because she loves me the most. I know because I used to do it too--to my mom. But it doesn't make it any easier.

Last night we had a 45 minute battle of the wills over going to the potty before bed. P is at the point where she knows that she is not supposed to go in her panties or her pull up. I knew that she had been holding it ever since she left daycare. For whatever reason she was refusing to go, and was visibly uncomfortable. I mean, she was doing the "I have to pee dance."

So she screamed and hit and slapped in my direction. I kept my cool just gently saying, "step up on your stool." She never did. The stand off finally ended with me stripping her pants and pull up off only for her to kick it up a notch into violent rage--therefore emptying her bladder all over the floor and her pajamas. Then she screamed because she is, "Not supposed to pee on the floor."

I felt awful for her. I know that regressions happen. I just hope that I haven't scarred her against the potty for awhile. Mostly, I felt guilty because all I could think about was getting away from her. All I wanted to do was cry for me, for her, and for all the future times I know I will be her punching bag. It's one of my jobs as a mom, but it is not one that I enjoy.

So I let myself cry for her, and for me. Then I went about my night. Hoping and praying that this morning would be different. She did protest slightly at going potty for me this morning, but she did finally go after I bribed her with M&Ms (which didn't work last night).

Last night was one of those nights where being a mom is just hard. We are having a lot of those lately--rebellious toddlers are harder than I thought. It made me appreciate my mom even more--for all the times that I know I took things out on her. She lost it sometimes--but mostly she understood. I didn't deserve understanding--but I always got it. I'm learning how to be more like that--and hoping some day that I will.

Happy Hump Day!



Monday, April 25, 2016

One of the Last Baby Things


Through out my journey into this thing called Motherhood--I have chronicled the lasts of the Baby Things. It seems that we are entering into the last season of Babyhood for P. While this particular baby item was never my favorite--I still found it in me to mourn it slightly. Good thing this particular item is not one that we can get rid of in just a few days. It will take a few weeks at least. I am certainly up to the challenge--but for the first time in forever--I feel very at peace with letting this transition happen at its own pace.

Yes, my friends, P has started Potty Training!!!

OMG--I am so surprised and shocked that this time is already upon us. I was so not expecting it at all. P had not been showing any interest in the potty what-so-ever, and her doctor had told me that most children are not ready until 2 1/2 to 3 years old and some don't potty train until almost 4. (YIKES on that last one there).

THEN--they moved her up to the older 2 year old room. Which I cried over slightly because she is not older twos--she is younger twos. But I would never be one to hold her back if the evidence is saying otherwise. That would be selfish of me. So I let her move up early. The difference is that this room was full of children who were potty-trained. No biggie, right. I didn't think anything of it. Like, good luck with that, sistahs. She is a tough little nugget to crack. Like always--I doubted my girl. (I really should stop doing that. It is when she surprises me most). After day one she had successfully gone in the potty three times. On day two in the class she had kept her diaper dry all day and gone potty successfully for them each time they asked her to. They even claim that she tells them when she has to go. (I have yet to see this myself, so I'm calling BS on that one...See doubter that I am).

The next week she wore panties all week and only had 3 accidents. I had to face the music that my kid might actually be getting potty trained. So I decided that I needed to step it up at home to supplement her training. Here is what I have learned so far:

1. It is totally normal for your kid to be potty trained at school and not at home.
Who knew this was a thing. For the first few days P would not go for me at home. I was really confused so I did some research and apparently it is common. Who knew? SO I had to get creative--which is code word for bribe her with M&Ms.

2. Find an incentive that works for your kid
For P it is candy because she loves sweets. Whenever I ask if she has to go potty she always says no. Then, if I mention that she doesn't get M&Ms if she wets her pants--all of the sudden she has to go. It's magic. I only give her M&Ms for going successfully and not for trying. That is a decision you have to make.

3. You have to act like a fool when they are successful
Kids are people pleasers. Every time she successfully uses the potty--I clap my hands, scream yay, do a little dance, and give hugs and kisses. She now says proudly, "I did it!" Which is so cute.

4. Routine helps
I take her to the potty every 45 minutes to 1 hour that she is with me. This really  helps to keep her from having accidents. I also have a very specific potty routine. It is similar to her school routine. Stand on stool (we use a potty seat on our toilet with a stool). Turn around and pull down pants and undies. Sit and use potty. Stand back up on stool. Wipe. Step down. Pull up undies and pants. Flush. Then wash hands. We do it the same way every single time with no deviation. If it's rushed or different--I think it causes her anxiety and she wont go. I know--I'm crazy.

5. Decide what tools you are using and make sure you have them on each floor
we decided that we did not want to use a smaller potty since she uses a regular toilet at school. So we bought two potty seats and two stools. I like this seat and this stool. One for each floor so that we don't have to continuously move them.

6. Don't sweat the nap and night time battle yet
I'm not in any rush there. I bought a big ole box of pull ups and I plan to use them for naps and bedtime until she is better about being consistently dry each time. I like the Pampers. Plus, we are still in a crib for now. I think some people feel pressure to do this all at once. I think it is too overwhelming. So I am ok with making that a step for another time.

7. Pack an extra pair of clothes (including socks and shoes) whenever you leave the house
Accidents can and will happen. So it is important to be prepared. The shoes is the worst to me. My mom bought P 2 new pairs of sneakers that can go in the washing machine for her to wear at school where accidents seem to happen the most. It is easy to throw them in the wash at the end of the day.

So that is all I have on this subject for now. The truth is that this last baby thing is a process. It is not something that can be accomplished in 3 days (contrary to what Pinterest wants you to believe.) So while I am looking forward to some extra money in my pocket once she is fully potty trained--I'm not counting chickens anytime soon.

Happy Monday!