Friday, March 6, 2015

The Last Bottle

A few weeks ago I posted about my struggle with getting P to stop drinking bottles. She resisted mightily, but I stuck to my guns and 4 days later we had gotten rid of her bottles before naps. I  purposefully kept her bottle before bed. I just wasn't ready to take it away. Looking at my baby and realizing that the days of bottles were numbered. I wanted to be ready for that last bottle. AND I wanted her to tell me when she didn't want it anymore.

I know, I know--I am crazy. we have proved this a million times as P has gone through all of the lasts of baby-dom. This one was hard. The last bottle that P had was over a week ago. It was a night that my husband had a soccer game. It was just me and P and the last bottle. She had gotten to the point were she wasn't really drinking them anymore. She was ready to be done.

That day I prepared myself. This was the last time I would give her a bottle. You see, I don't remember the last time I breastfed her. One morning she just wouldn't do it anymore. I have tried and tried to remember when it was, but I can't. So this last bottle was a pretty big deal to me. It felt like letting go of the last baby thing. That's not really true if you consider diapers a baby thing. I consider them a toddler thing too. I don't think I'll be sad to see them go, though.

So I got P ready for bed. I took her downstairs and I prepared her last bottle. The whole time I talked to her. I told her that this was the last bottle I was ever going to give her. Then, we went upstairs and I read her three favorite books to her while rocking in the same rocking chair that my mother rocked me 28 years ago. I walked her to her crib and rocked her in my arms. Every night we have the same routine. I turn on the sound machine, turn of the light, and rock her while saying, "it's time to go to sleep. Mommy loves you so much." Then I put her down and gave her the bottle while lying in her crib. This is the only way that she would take a bottle for the last few months--and one of the reasons why the doctor said they had to go pronto.

While she ate that last bottle--I tried to memorize the image. The way one of her hands stroked mine while the other rubbed her bunny lovey at her side. For the first time in a week she finished the whole bottle, and then she rolled on her side to go to sleep. I closed the door and left the room. That was it. the last bottle. It was a little sad, but mostly I just felt proud. Proud of myself and my parenting so far, and most of all proud of that little girl that P is becoming. One who shows me she is ready to go to the next step even when I am not quite there.

Happy Friday y'all!

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