Monday, August 18, 2014

Happy 7 Months P!

Yet another month has come and gone. So many things with P have changed this past month.

August is a nightmare month in our household as both J and I start backt o work. The new school year always brings a ton of stress. Couple that with a baby that just wont eat or sleep anymore and you have a genuine powderkeg of emotions.

I have cried more this month than all other months of P’s life combined. Some tears were happy, some sad, but most were frustrated. Why did no one tell me that being a mom only gets harder in the first year? I found P A LOT more manageable when she was a newborn!

I will be the first to say that this job is the best job in the word, but at the same time the most challenging. Things are constantly changing. What worked one day will not work the next. You are constantly adapting your methods to fit your child’s needs. You questions and second guess how your every action will shape and form the way that she will be. When she cries because I took her toy that she just dropped on the nasty floor away, then I hastily wash it and hand it back because I can’t listen to it anymoreI worry that she will become a spoiled brat. When I loose me cool and raise my voice begging her to please be quiet-I worry that that voice will be the one that becomes her inner voice. One that is impatient and constantly criticizing.

I am learning to cut myself some slack and be patient with myself as much as I am with P. It is ok to lose it every once in awhile. It is ok to put her in the crib where she is safe and walk away because you just need to go put your head in a pillow and scream. It’s ok to cry in the shower. I don’t know a single mom that hasn’t done these things. And if you haven’tI don’t want to know about it.

It’s like letting go of the fairytale ideal of motherhood just like you learn to let go of the idea of prince charming and happily ever after. Things like perfect marriages that don’t take work and perfect children that never pitch a fitthey are myths. Striving for perfection and being restless with your life is exhausting. I struggle with it every day. Constantly  Wrestling with that picture in my head and with the vision from my childhood dreams. I am learning to let go, and to live in the here and now.

Nowon to the fun stuff. P has finally started consistently rolling over. She actually was sitting up independently before she was rolling over. Most babies do not do that. This tells me that she will do things on her own stubborn time frame. She may look like her daddybut she is all mommy when it comes to her personality.  I love this new independence that she has gained. Now--I dump out her toys in a big pile on the floor and she will go to town for a whole hour. She just sits there and plays while I work. It has been awesome for me these  few weeks of the school year.

She has started to go from a sitting position to falling forward onto her stomacheventually I know that she will fall onto all fours and start taking on the world in crawling motion. Then I will be in trouble. Working will become a challenge and she will start to spend more time in baby jai, hmm I mean the pack-n-play.

P has gained an all new love for music. She will smile, laugh, and dance when you put the wiggles on. It is quite entertaining for J and I as well. I hope that this love of music continues to grow with her. Maybe she will have a good singing voice, or want to play an instrument. I would be so proud!

We have finally kicked the swaddle! THANK GOD! I thought I was going to be swaddling her until she was five at the rate we were going. Butonce the rolling started happening in the crib. I stopped the swaddling out of fear, and P’s sleeping habits have not suffered.

Speaking of sleep, we are doing a little bit better in that department. If you remember, from months 2-6, P slept through the night. Thenshe started waking up several times a night. Sometimes up to 4 or 5 times. We were really struggling for about a month and a half. It seems to have leveled out recently. She is still not sleeping through the night every night, but she is doing it more consistently. BTWI consider 6 hours straight sleeping through the night. She usually goes down between 8-9, Wakes to eat somewhere between 1 and 3, then sleeps until I wake her at 7. I consider that a success compared to recent weeks.

Solids foods have gotten a lot better as well. It was like a switch went off and she suddenly started eating. It took about 4 weeks to really get her in a good rhythm. She will eat about 4 containers of solids a day. I tried making my own foodbut my little diva likes Gerber best. She will not eat any straight veggies, and prefers fruits most. She will, however, eat blends fairly well. Her favorite foods are Bananas (and any blend with bananas), pears, Pears with Zuchini and Corn, Peaches, Peaches with apple and Squash, and Peach and pear whole milk yogurt. I just bought a banana orange blend as well as a spinach raspberry greek yogurt blend that I have excited about trying.

She has also had a few finger foods here and there. I am still too scared to really give her much. She has had tomato, cheese, peas, and green beans. I am going to amp this up soon.

As far as milk goesit is becoming a daily struggle to get her to drink it. The ounce total just keeps dropping. I have had to cut pumpings because there is no room for all of the excess. As a resultI have a nasty case of mastitis at the moment. It is frustrating to say the least. I would not be concerned if she were sleeping better and eating more protein and dairy through solids. ALAS, she would not eat the chicken I have offered.

Overall, P is a happy baby girl. She is clearly in love with life, and we are in love with her. I started my Pinterest board for her first birthday yesterday and felt the pang of sadness. I can’t believe it is time to start thinking about such things. I am coming to grips with the whole only child thing, but I still feel sad about it a lot.

Happy 7 Month Birthday baby P! Mommy and Daddy love you more and mostest. The words to express that love are non-existent. We look forward to the new changes this month will bring us.


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