Wednesday, November 16, 2016

When Best Friends Have Babies

Last weekend I threw a baby shower for one of my oldest and closest friends. It was a multitude of emotions for me for many reasons. I am simply thrilled to death that there will finally be another baby in my crew, but I would be untrue to myself if I didn't say that it stirs up many other feelings inside me.

I would be totally lying if I said that celebrating baby A didn't make me wish that there would one day be another baby for me. As I made the diaper cake I might have been spotted holding a few to my nose to breathe in that familiar scent of the Pamper Swaddler. If you are a mom you know what I am talking about. Each diaper has a slightly different scent and the Swaddler was my favorite. It reminds me of that newborn smell. It is like putting in an expressway to my ovaries. Then I think about how I had to fight with P last night to apologize to me after hitting me with a block (on purpose, that B****) and I doubt seriously the reason why I felt led to do all of this the first time. I am NOT a toddler person. Give me a newborn over a two year old any day. Whoever told you that these were the days was wrong. Give me my squishy, needy, hungry, sleepy, newborn back! You can take this french-braided tyrant in Elsa panties with you because she is wearing on my last nerve lately. Of course I am kidding, but I would be lying if I didn't feel that way sometimes.

Everyone who knows me knows that I am a sappy person. I can cry at the drop of a hat. A good commercial can make me weep. It doesn't take much. So on Sunday--as I helped my friend unwrap and organize her gifts and read her cards, I kept getting choked up. I  know what is coming for her in the months to come, and I know that it will change her heart in so many important ways. It will change her relationships; some for the good, and maybe some will fade away. Is is totally natural. Most all I am so excited to have a friend that has known me through all of the seasons of my life finally understand what it is like to be in my shoes. I look forward to the sharing of advice (which has already started) and the celebrating of those little milestones that come with parenting. I laugh softly to myself because I know that she has no clue what she has gotten herself into. I mean that in the best possible way--Kels. I know that she will understand all the craziness that I have been spouting over the last almost 3 years. She's one of my people, and I feel like with this new transition in her life we will get closer. Hopefully physically closer--as she lives in another state right now.

In my life friendships with other women have been a struggle. I don't make friends quickly, and I have lost some quality friends along the way. Some that I miss, and some that I don't. For the most part, I have a close group of a few girls, and I was the first one to procreate. That made me feel a bit out of place at times. I guess you could say I felt like I was in a different stage of my life than they were. I think it was hard for me to relate to their lives and vice versa. It isn't either of our faults really. Nevertheless, I feel hopeful that this is starting to change. I look forward to the next few months and years of raising our daughters together (maybe from close distances and maybe from afar).

Hopefully we will one day be older and slightly grayer celebrating the successes of our daughters. Doesn't that sound crazy, but so good all at the same time.

Congrats My Friend.

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