Monday, April 13, 2015

Half or Whole?

 That's right, folks, Spring has made its debut in Georgia. It is a beautiful time to live in the south. The cherry blossoms are a bloomin' and the grass is turning green again. The mornings are a perfect 65 degrees and the afternoons are not yet sweltering. It opens up a whole new realm of possibilities with each coming day. More to do with P outside. I love warm weather with a toddler so far.

Speaking of toddler--OMG how much I love having one, and hate having one all at the same time. There truly are no words to describe how much you love and adore your own children. P is so full of life. She is go-go-go all the time, and it is definitely a double edged sword. I remember the days when I could just lay her down on her tummy time mat with some toys and buy myself a whole cup of coffee. Those days are long gone, but I don't (usually) mind that much.

Last week was my husband and step-sons spring break--so I took the week off of blogging to spend as much time with the two of them as possible. I think that it is safe to say that P prefers the male members of our family to the female ones. She is like her momma. I always got along better with men then women. She adores her daddy. It warms my heart to hear her babbling, "Da-da" as she is falling asleep, and I love to watch her sit in his lap and watch The Wiggles. He is her favorite person, and I am trying not to be jealous of that.

I know that this summer is going to be a great one for P. Her brother, D, will be with us a lot of the time, and I am looking forward to their bonding. She is finally to the point where he can really play with her, and I think that he enjoys being her big brother. She has taken to him more since he was around an entire week. She has started calling him, "D!" She will tug on his shorts to ask for him to pick her up. She will go to him and let him hold her (something she hasn't really done before). She likes to play nerf basketball in D's room, declaring, "up!" I am happy that she has this time with her brother, but sad that it always seems too short. Over the summer, it will be for longer periods of time, and I am looking forward to them building more memories together. It won't be long before D graduates from High School--and his visits will be less and less frequent.

I too am a product of a hybrid family. My Dad was married before he met my mom and had three children. They are A LOT older than me. The gap is substantial in P and D's case, but much more pronounced for me. What I am about to say may sound mean, but it is just the truth, I consider myself an only child. I have no memories of growing up with any of my half-siblings. We didn't share a bedroom or a bathroom. So while they are my family--it is just not the same. Maybe my experience was not the norm.

For this reason I have a unique way of looking at P and D's relationship. I want them to build as strong of a relationship as possible in the next four years. I want them to have some great memories together, because I don't have those. I want D to be the person that P can go to when she is a teenager. You know, when she hates us, and needs someone else to talk to who will understand. I hope D is that person for her. I want him to feel like a whole sibling, because my siblings felt like aunts and uncles. There are 12 and a half years between the two of them, but I hope they can bridge that gap.

If P never gets a little brother or sister, then I want her to feel that she has a real brother in D. I want her to have childhood memories of living in the same house with him. I wish that for her because I wanted that for me. Maybe it is because National Siblings Day was last week, but I was so jealous of all of the people posting pictures with their siblings, and talking about what a blessing they are in their life. Oh, how I want that for my little girl.

What is your experience with half siblings or large age gaps between siblings? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Happy Monday!

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