Friday Favorites--My Favorite Post About Infant Sleep and Scheduling

When my little P was an infant--I became the master Babywise type mom. I totally believed wholeheartedly in scheduling you baby's day. I believe that P was a much happier baby because she was thoroughly rested. I also believe that she learned how to fall asleep. Even though, this may seem like an easy skill--it's not necessarily that way. I had the hardest time falling asleep well into adulthood. My child doesn't have any issues with sleep, and I believe it stems from the techniques I used in her first year of life.

One of my posts about scheduling is my most pinned post from Pinterest. That is why I have decided to write this post. I can totally understand why people are drawn to my post--all new moms are desperately searching for anything to help them sleep more!

Below I have linked my favorite posts on sleep training and sample schedules that I used for my daughter.

I would love to hear about your sweet babies and what you have found to work for them. My husband and I are currently considering and planning for Baby #2 and I need to re-learn all over again!

1. How To Get Your Newborn On A Schedule

This post is a general tips and tricks post on how to start out. It includes the basics of how to start as well as addresses some FAQs.

2. Why I Did Cry It Out

This post is on one of the most controversial parts of sleep training and scheduling--cry it out. I try to talk about it in a humorous way. I know that lots of parents have a hard time with this, but I swear that it works. I include some tips and tricks in this one as well.

3. Sample Schedule Posts

Below I have linked my daughter's sample schedules for her first two transitions. These should help you moms out there that like to be prepared for the future.

Weeks 7-10

Weeks 10-15

4. Introduction of Solid Foods With Scheduling

When I introduced solids her schedule seemed it change a bit. It definitely make life a little bit more difficult.

5. Schedule from 6-9 Months

After starting solids my daughter's schedule held steady for a long time. This was the longest stretch that she went without changing it up from time to time. She became pretty predictable and oh-so-happy!

I hope you enjoy these posts!
Caroline

If I Could Do It Again...

As January 13th draws nearer--the nostalgia sets in. I find myself sifting through P's monthly photos. Sometimes I smile and laugh. Other times I sit and cry silently. I can tell that it is even starting to get to J a little bit. I find him wanting to hold onto P a little tighter. Almost as if he too is savoring this last month of infant-ness.

The last couple of days I have been thinking about what I would do differently if I ever have another child. I think that this is a common thought that most mothers probably have at one point in their lives.

I am sure you have noticed that I am a planner. Before P was even born I had a strong philosophy of how I wanted to structure her first year of life. That is just it--it was very STRUCTURED. The whole thing. When that structure was thrown off--we struggled to operate. Because I was like this--she was a great baby. She does things that a lot of mom's wish their babies would do. She falls asleep on her own. She soothes herself back to sleep. She sleeps 12 hours at night, and she wakes happy (most of the time). I am so grateful for all of these things. I give credit where credit is due, and I know that I worked hard at each of these things.

BUT...there is a downside to this. Because I worried endlessly about P being about to soothe herself and fall asleep on her own--she does not want me to soothe her. She does not want to fall asleep with me. Because I worried that she would be spoiled if I held her all of the time--I put her down and allowed her to play alone most of the time. Now, she does not like to be held, rocked, or hugged. I put such an emphasis on routine and keeping everything the same for her so that she would sleep well--and now she will not sleep without these things and that routine. She will not sleep in the car or in her baby carrier, or in your arms while out and about. She is a slave to the routine and not the other way around.

If I do it again--I will probably do it the same with some small modifications here and there. At least in the first 8 weeks or so I wouldn't worry so much about putting her down and not holding her all of the time. I would hold her as much as I wanted. I would wear her in that moby wrap and handle whatever needed to be handled. I would cherish those days mightily where they can sleep through anything. I wouldn't be so quick to put her down. Because next time, I will understand that those days are the only days in her life where she will completely and totally belong to me. Those are days and memories that I will cherish forever. They are moments that no one else gets to have with my baby. They are reserved only for us. I will not deprive myself of those next time because I am afraid of spoiling her. If I have to work harder later because of it--then so be it.

If I do it again I will be more proactive with breastfeeding. With P, we hit a bump in the road at 8 weeks, and I just switched to pumping. I gave up. At the time I just went with it because I felt like it was easier for P. While it was easier for P, it was devastating for me. I became attached to the pump, and I still am. If I could do it again, I would fight through the tough days and go to a lactation specialist. I would work hard for breastfeeding for myself and for my baby. I am so jealous of my friends that still breastfeed their almost 1 year olds. I want to have that time cuddled up with P. I want to hear those soft wheezes that she used to make. I feel that I missed out on intimate time with my daughter because I just didn't know any better. If there is another one--I will do everything I have to do to help us both sustain that relationship as long as we can.

Looking back, I think that J and I have done a great job so far. P is very happy and healthy. We too are very happy with her. So--my plan worked out in the end. But I think you would be hard pressed to find a mom that didn't have a thing or two that she wished she could change. These two things above are mine.

So my advice to you new mommies with tiny ones. Hold them close, nurse them often, and don't worry too much about spoiling them. When they are running around your house terrorizing the cat these are the moments that you will miss.

What would you do differently with your next child?

The Solid Issue--Tips for Introducing Solids and Low Milk Intake

This post has been weighing heavily on my heart since I started introducing solids to P. Like everything with motherhood--I crossed my fingers and hoped that P would take that first spoonful of solids and never look back. It just wasn't that way for us. It has been a battle weekly. Every time I wanted to say we were out of the woods and that things were getting better--we would take a huge step back. I just didn't feel comfortable writing a post about it. I felt like I was doing something wrong in that department, and certainly wasn't the one to give advice on the subject.

I do feel like things have been better in the last month. P and I have gotten into a rhythm with her current schedule--as suggested by her new doctor. I will post that schedule at the bottom of this post for those of you who are curious. I mostly post these schedules for reference just in case I ever do convince my husband to do this again. I am sure there is a whole other post on that issue at some point.

For those reasons I have decided to share our struggle with solids and low milk intake. These two issues have driven me to more tears in the last four months than the first 5 month of motherhood. It has been my biggest struggle. Quite honestly--I have screamed, cried, and thrown things out of the frustration about P's intake. Why? Because I am a perfectionist when it comes to this whole motherhood thing. I. AM. CRAZY. I know it. It is my demon.

Here are my suggestions with introducing solids:

1. Don't be in a hurry to do it--Wait until 6 months if you can.
Don't believe the lie that some babies need solids to sleep through the night. P stopped sleeping through the night after solid introduction. Don't fall for that. Stay in your blissful bottle stage for as long as you can.

2. Educate yourself about first foods and baby led weaning.
I didn't do baby led weaning because P has a crazy gag reflex. She often throws up when she coughs. I just didn't feel comfortable with it, and neither did my husband. I have heard so many amazing success stories with it, and that is great for those parents. It just wasn't that way for us. We have just started finger foods, and it is a lot better. P needed those extra months to get her coordination down.

3. Understand that they spit it all out for the first 2 weeks or so.
Yeah--it all comes back out. They just don't understand how to move food from the front of their mouth to the back to swallow it. It is a fact of the process. You forcing them to eat won't change that.

4. It may take a month before they are eating solids well.
I mean putting away a container or two a meal. It took me about 3 months to get the point where she was eating two containers a meal and three during some meals. I felt pressured to feed her more because she wasn't eating her milk. Turns out that was the worst thing I could do. Once I relaxed a bit with the solid intake--the milk intake went back up. I had to learn how to balance the two. You also may need to experiment with different foods and textures. P likes her stuff thicker than most purees.

5. It is important to know how much is too much.
For P there is a definite difference between swatting at the spoon because I am full and swatting for fun. She pretty much swats non stop--so it was hard to know when she was really full. If I fill her too full--she will vomit everywhere. I want to avoid that like Ebola. You have to learn the cues and what works for your child.

6. Just because they don't like it today doesn't mean they won't like it tomorrow.
In the beginning P despised oatmeal with a passion. She hated that stuff. She would burst into tears if she smelled it. So I backed off. Starting off--she would only eat bananas and stuff mixed with bananas. Then it moved to all fruits. Then, veggie-fruit blends. Now she will eat some stuff that doesn't have any fruit, but still does better with blends. My husband gave her oatmeal after a month of not having it--and she gobbled it up. She loves oatmeal now. One of her favorite foods, seriously. It can change daily.

Next issue is milk intake. This one is really hard. I have heard that it is really common for a lot of babies. We have struggled mightily with this. P has taken as little as 9 ounces in a 24 hour period before. It was at a point where I was concerned about hydration. She just didn't want it at all. Here is  I have found to work with her.

1. Mix milk into everything they eat
EVERYTHING. I am not kidding. I even put milk in P's yogurt. I mix about 1/2 an ounce into most things she eats. For oatmeal--She usually eats 3 tablespoons of oatmeal with 2 ounces of milk. She eats it at breakfast and at dinner. This really helps to boost our ounce count.

2. Anything you mix into food counts toward your ounce total for the day.
If you can, try not to count the ounces. I am not able to do this, but it will help your sanity. If you have to count the ounces, then include anything you mix into food.

3.Have 1 cycle a day in which they can only have a bottle--no solids.
This is the one cycle a day that really helps to catch us up on ounces. I will not let her eat any solids. I just wait for her to want the bottle. She make take a few ounces here and a few there. That is fine. At least she is taking it.

4. Let go of the Eat, Play, Sleep Cycle.
I had to stop killing myself over this. It was making us both crazy. If she doesn't want the dang bottle right when she wakes up. I put her down to play, and she usually lets me know when she is hungry. If she doesn't by an hour before her nap, then I give her the solids. That is the best that I can do. Most of the time she will want the bottle about 45 minutes after the wakes up. She will then take her solids, and go down for a nap. It works for us.

5. Have the last solid feeding two hours or more before they go to sleep for the night.
This will just allow them to have time to get hungry and make it more likely that they will drink their milk at bedtime.

6. Offer water all day long
This was something that P's doctor really stressed at her 9 month appointment. She said any hydration is good hydration. Now, I make sure that I offer P a sippy cup of water after every solid feeding. It has really helped her wet diaper situation. Her urine is completely clear again (sorry for the tmi)

7. Consider that the problem may be your schedule.
When I went to see P's doctor--I took a copy of her schedule and her daily menu. The doctor looked at it and noticed an issue right away. She said we were keeping P up too late. What? I was trying to give her more time between dinner and bedtime--so I was putting her down 3 hours after dinner. P's doc said that the later you put them to bed--the worse they sleep. I have never heard of such a thing. It just goes against all common sense in my opinion. But--I'll be danged if it isn't the truth. Since we have moved P's bedtime--she has started taking more ounces and sleeping so much better. Turns out that she was waking in the night because of the late bedtime, and we were feeding her thinking she was hungry. This was making her less hungry during the day. Take away the night time feedings and viola! Baby girl will take those ounces during the day again. Seems so simple.

I guess I just needed a doctor to recommend the tough love with P. It was rough for the first few nights. She didn't want to go to sleep. But we stuck to our guns. Now, She goes down at 7 pm, and I wake her at 7 am. It has made such a huge difference. I will say that we still go in at about 10:30 most nights and offer her a dream feed. If she takes it--she does so in her sleep. It's the cutest thing and I love that feeding. She makes the sweetest little sighs.

I empower you to not become complacent when something is not going well. I had come to accept P's night time and eating issues. I chalked it up to her just not wanting milk anymore and not being a good sleeper. Turns out, it was something simple the whole time. Keep searching for an answer. There is one out there for you. I promise.

What works for your 9 month + baby?

P's Schedule 40 Weeks

7:00 am--Wake and bottle

7:45--breakfast (oatmeal and yogurt)

9:00--Nap

11:00--Wake and bottle * she usually wont take much if any bottle, but I always offer it

11:45--lunch (chicken and a veggie fruit blend)

1:00--Nap

3:00--wake and bottle *no solids offered this feeding

5:15--Dinner (oatmeal and fruit) 

6:00--We eat dinner and P eats finger foods and has water at the table with us

6:30--bathtime and then in room playtime

7:00--Bed time

10:30--dreamfeed

The Piper Manual (month 8)

You will remember that I am a fan of strong lesson plans when it comes to someone keeping P for a long period of time. Since my mom will be watching P during the day I wanted to make sure she had a close guideline for how to get my girl to be the happiest baby in the world! Just sharing with all of you!

The Piper Manual

Thank you for keeping our sweet Piper. Here are just a few resources to help you get an idea of what works best for us with her. Please use it as a guide to help you through your day.

Piper’s Schedule

7:00 Wake and eat

8:00 Breakfast

9:00 Nap

11:00 Wake and eat

12:00 Lunch

1:00 Nap

3:00 Wake and eat

5:00 catnap

5:45 Wake

6:00 Dinner

7:15 Bath

8:00 bottle and bed

Menu

Breakfast

1 container Peaches or other fruit

2 ½ tablespoons of oatmeal mixed with 1 ½ ounces of breastmilk

Lunch

1 container Chicken and Apples

1 container Pear Zucchini Corn

2 Tablespoons of oatmeal mixed with 1 ounce breastmilk

Dinner

1 container bananas

2 ½ tablespoons oatmeal with 1 ½ ounces of breastmilk

Notes about Solid Feeding

It is very important that we try to get all of the above food in Piper. Since she does not take milk well, we need to ensure she gets the nutrients through the solid food.

She will often swat at the spoon and spit the food at you. This is not because she does not want it, but because she thinks it is funny. Ignore it and try not to draw too much attention to the behavior. I have been told that any attention, whether positive or negative, can encourage the behavior.

I find it helpful to have the TV on while feeing her but not directly in front of her. I usually have it on and to the right of her. While I feed her I will hold her right hand with my left hand and spoon food in with my right hand. I know it sounds weird, but she will open her mouth for it this way.

You may need to give her breaks while eating. Sometimes it takes a good 30 to 45 minutes to get it all in her. Have patience.

Notes about Bottle Feeding

Piper is an unusual eater period. What usually works for bottles is that I wake her from her nap and let her play until she gets fussy or until it is time for solids. I give her the bottle. She needs to take at least 2 ounces of milk before she has solids. Most of the time she will do this, but sometimes she wont.

Please keep track of the amount of milk she takes while with you. Add in the amount you put in cereal as well. It all counts.

The last two bottle feedings of the day she will take around 5 ½ ounces each and she will take it all right before she goes down for sleep. I usually feed it to her while she is laying in her crib or pack n play. She will gobble it all up in about 5 minutes.

Notes about Playtime

Try to vary her playtime activities. We are working on her crawling skills so we like to put her on her tummy every cycle. However, if she cries forcefully, then do whatever you need to do. Just don’t hold her all the time.

Notes about Naps and Bedtime

Make sure the sound machine is on, and on pretty loud.

Make sure she has her bunny and two pacifiers.

I usually give her a little hug and tell her it is night time and put her down in the pack n play. Then I give her the bunny and pacifier. I leave the room.

She never cries at home during nap or bedtime, but since she is in a new place, she may protest a bit. If she cries go back in after 5 minutes. Then 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10. Try more milk if you think she is hungry each time that you go in. Give her the pacifier again. Try not to pick her up if you can help it. After 10 minutes you go in every 10 minutes until she is asleep.

Thanks again!

What kind of plans do you leave for your childcare?

P's Schedule Weeks 30-Now

P’s schedule has been holding pretty steady since 6 months of age. We really struggled in months 6 and 7 with night time sleep, but it looks like we are starting to inch our way out of that. She still wakes up most nights, but I think that we have found a schedule that is working better for her.

Note, that I share these schedules for two reasons—one, for my own memory in case there is ever another baby S and I need to see what we did around what times. Two, to help any other moms out there that are looking to see what other babies are doing at a certain age. I certainly do not think that I have it all figured out!

Also note that I followed Babywise pretty religiously until 6 months of age. Now, we find ourselves in a whatever the hell works—stage. P is still not taking milk well so I mix milk into just about everything she eats to add the nutrients and to keep her hydrated. This is just what I have found to give us the most success. Hope this helps some of you!

The below schedule is the one that we have been doing since 33 weeks, but I think that it would have worked at 30 weeks so that is why I have titled it this way. Sometimes we are slow to recognize that a change needs to be made! We are very fond of the new schedule change because it gives us a lot more time alone together at night, and we don't have to worry about a late evening catnap. The down side is that when we want to take her out for dinner--I am not quite sure how that is going to work. I would welcome suggestions on that front.

P’s schedule weeks 30- present

7:00 wake and eat (sometimes)

7:15—I pump while P plays in baby jail (hmm, I mean the pack n play)

8:00 Breakfast (usually yogurt or oatmeal and sometimes both)

9:15-9:30 nap

11:15 to 11:30—wake and eat (sometimes)

12:00 lunch (usually fruit and veggie combo with some of my BM stirred in for extra fat. If she is extra hungry she might have two containers. I am thinking of trying to move her to taking the one fruit veggie combo and a protein such as chicken. We have just started working with the meats and she is still a little hesitant with them. It takes a lot of patience most days to get her to eat the whole container. Some days I have it, and some I don’t.

1:15- 1:30—Nap and then I pump

3:15- 3:30—wake and eat (sometimes)

4:00—snack (usually a fruit with BM stirred in for extra fat)

5:30—I pump while P plays with her daddy she might have a little milk snack around this time. It’s usually an ounce or two.

6:00—Dinner (usually bananas with BM stirred in to help with constipation and oatmeal)

6:30—6:45—Bath time and bed time routine (we try to stretch this time out because she loves the bath)

7:00—story time and in room playtime while getting ready for bed.

7:15-7:30—bottle and then bed.

9:30--Last pump of the day (WAHOO!!!)

11:30—dream feed (yes, we have added back the dream feed to keep her from getting up at night, and yes it is ridiculous that we are still doing this. I can’t talk about it or I will get angry.)

 What type of schedule is your 34 week old on?

My Tips for Exclusive Pumping Moms

 Exclusive pumping is a hard job, and it is not one to be undertaken lightly. I definitely didn’t know what I was getting myself into in the beginning. Now, that things are getting a lot easier for me on the pump front—I thought I would share a few of my tips.

FAQ—these are questions that I had when starting my exclusive pumping journey and the answers that I have found that work for me.

Q: How long should I pump?

A: This is really a tricky one because some people prefer to pump a certain amount of time, some have an volume goal they are trying to reach, and some just pump until empty every time. The answer is different depending where you are in your current pumping journey (and I do consider it a journey).

If I am having a hard time with my supply, then I will pump until empty every single time for a few days. This (to me) means at least 15 minutes or up to five minutes after the last drop. You do not want to do this for too long because your nipples will be really sore.

If I am not concerned about my supply and just want to maintain where I am, then I will pump towards a particular volume goal. My current goal at least 6 ounces per pump.

If I have somewhere to go and don’t have as much time, then I may set my phone timer for 15 minutes and then just cut it off. However, I never pump less than 15 minutes. EVER.

Q: How often do I need to pump?

A: this again is based on where you are in your journey with pumping. In the beginning I was pumping 6 times a day because my baby was eating 6 times a day. However, I eventually got to the point where I was producing almost twice what she was taking in a 24 hour period. I was running out of room in my freezer for all the extras and milk was starting to go bad. So, I cut out a pumping. This is where I currently am in my journey. P still has 6 feedings a day, but I only pump 5 times. I am still able to keep up my supply and her demand plus I am able to save about 6 ounces a day.

If you are just starting out, then I would say that you need to pump as often as your baby eats. Keep a notepad near where you pump/feed your baby with two columns on it. One for the number of ounces your baby takes at each feeding, and one for the number or ounces your pump for that feeding. Add the up at the end of the day and see where you stand.

Q: How do I cut out a pumping without affecting my supply?

A: I cut out a pumping by just increasing the amount of time between pumpings. If you are currently pumping every 3 hours, then start pumping every 4 and cut one out that way.

How Can You Make Exclusive Pumping Easier for You?

This is the biggest issue with exclusive pumping—it is inconvenient. One of the hardest things with pumping is that you are tied to a machine with a plug, and it can make it hard for you to get out. For instance, we have a white water rafting trip planned, and I am going to need to go 6 hours without pumping. This is not ideal, but I am going to have to figure out a way to make it work.

Here are the things that I have found to make my life easier while pumping

1.       Get a hands free pumping bra—This saved my life. I am a work from home mom, and when my husband is not home there are times that I have to feed P and pump at the same time in order to be as efficient as possible. I picked up a hands free pumping bra and I will never hold the bottles while pumping again! It allows me to have my hands free to hold P or work while pumping.

2.       Get a car adapter for your pump—I have pumped in the car while driving and while being a passenger more times than that can count on both hands. It makes getting out of the house so much easier. When I have a makeup job, then I pump on the way there, and then on my way home. The adapter saves me from having to pump while I am there! It also makes date night a lot easier.

3.       Get extra pump parts and extra bottles for storage. Getting these extras will just mean that you have to wash less.

4.       Pack your pump bag the night before when you can. It is often a mad dash getting ready to go somewhere in my family. Therefore, I like to pack everything up ahead of time if I can so that I will not forget something important.

5.       Grab some Medela steam bags for quick sterilization for pump and bottle parts.

6.       Get some quick clean wipes for cleaning your pump on the go.

Here is what My schedule with pumping currently looks like

7:00 am—Wake P and feed

7:30—Pump

8:30—P’s nap

10:00—Wake P and feed

11:00—pump

11:30—P’s nap

1:00 pm—Wake P and feed

2:30—P’s nap

3:00—Pump

4:00—Wake P and feed

5:30—P’s nap

7:00—Wake P and hubby gives P a bottle while I pump

7:45—P’s cereal feeding

8:00—bath time

8:30—P’s bedtime

10:30—Last pumping of the day

11:00-P’s dream feed

I hope that these things help you exclusive pumpers out there! I wish you the best of luck and the most encouragement I can. I know we all need it!

Baby P's Schedule Weeks 10-15

 P has gone through another schedule change. We are particularly thankful for this change because it means that she is now sleeping through the night without a dream feed! WAHOO! We are so excited about our extra sleep.

Here are some things to remember when dropping a feeding:

1. Continue to use your previous schedule until your child consistently eats poorly at the last meal of the day.
--In P's case we waited about five days before making the shift. We were noticing that at the 12:00 feeding she would play with her bottle and not really take much. She did this every night for 5 nights, and then on the 6th, we just didn't wake her at 12.
2. Understand that since your child will be sleeping longer at night that they probably will not nap as long during the day.
--this means that you will have to adjust the awake and nap times in your schedule.
3. Your child will probably take more food at each feeding to make up for the feeding they are dropping.
--In P's case she started taking around 4-5 ounces each bottle.
4. There will be times when they will not sleep through the night. This is just the nature of having a baby. That does not necessarily mean that they are hungry! It could be any number of things. I usually go in and try these things first before feeding her:
-re-swaddle her
-Give her a pacifier
-turn on her mobile
-pick her up and rock her
**only after all of these are exhausted will I feed her.

Schedule

Early Morning
7:00--wake and feed
7:30--playtime
8:30-8:45--down for a nap

Mid-Morning
10:00--wake and feed
10:30--playtime
11:30-11:45--down for a nap

Noon
1:00--wake and feed
1:30--playtime
2:30-2:45--down for nap

Mid Afternoon
4:00--wake and feed
4:30--playtime
5:30-5:45--down for nap

Nighttime
7:00--wake and feed
7:30--playtime
8:00--down for nap

Late night
9:30--wake and feed
10:00--down for the night

P's Schedule 7-10 weeks

I have had some questions about P's schedule as she grows. Here is her current schedule. Please note that I adjust this schedule occasionally as she is not a robot and may wake early from naps. I hope this schedule helps you gage how you should adjust your baby's schedule. I will post changes in her schedule as they happen. There should be a shift next week at 10 weeks. We will see how that one goes :)

Early Morning

6:30—Wake and feed

7:00—Play time/bath time

8:00—Down for nap

Mid-Morning

9:00—Wake and feed

9:30—Play time

10:30—down for nap

Noon

12:00—Wake and feed

12:30—play time

1:30—Down for nap

Mid-Afternoon

3:00—Wake and feed

3:30—Play time

4:30—Down for nap

Late Afternoon

6:00—wake and feed

6:30—play time

7:30—Down for nap

Early Evening

8:30 Wake and feed

9:00—play time

9:30 Down for nap

* I usually pump at 10:00 and then go to bed. My hubby then give P a bottle at 11:30. This is a dream feed. She usually is sleeping the whole time she is eating.

Late Evening

11:30 Wake and feed

11:50 Down for the night