10 Things I Didn't Know Before I Became A Mom

While I did a ton of research while I was pregnant there were still so many things that I just didn't know before I became a mother. I was terrified that I didn't have the, "mom gene." It sounds cliche, but I truly believe that your instincts do just kick in. After a few weeks I felt pretty confident that no matter what P did, I would be able to deal with it successfully.

Nevertheless, there are still things that I am finding out each year that I didn't know before I became a mom. I catch myself saying, "that would have been nice to know before it happened." If you are about to become a member of the mom club then check out my list. Maybe you are better than me and you already knew a lot of these, or maybe you are like me and you were completely caught off guard.

1. How to swaddle a baby

I seriously had never even heard of swaddling before I started reading about night time sleep for infants while I was pregnant with my daughter. I definitely didn't know how to do it well. It took me several weeks to get it down, and by then she was ready to move on to one of the velcro swaddles. Do yourself a favor and learn this before your baby is born so you can get some practice in. Here is a nice diagram above.

2. If you breastfeed your period may not come back until you stop

I about had a heart attack when I didn't have a period after my daughter was born. Once I stopped the post partum bleeding I expected to have another period in 30 or so days. I didn't have my next period until my daughter was a year old and I was weaning her. My doctor laughed when I called and left a message thinking that I was pregnant again.

3. Newborns can have tylenol, but not ibuprofen.

I bought a bunch of medicines before my daughter was born, and when she started teething at 4 months of age I reached for the ibuprofen, and while reading the dosage I realized that infants cannot have Ibuprofen until 6 months. What??? Seems like that would be something the doctor would be sure to stress at one of those first visits. Tylenol only until 6 months! I never use Tylenol. I don't think that it is very effective, so I just didn't even think about it. Who knew?

4. Brush up on early childhood development

I'm a teacher, but I teach high schoolers. I have essentially no knowledge about what is typical or atypical behavior from babies and toddlers. ZERO. Therefore I was really stressed out that my baby was progressing too slowly. When one of my mommy friend's baby rolled over at two weeks, and mine did not roll over until 5 months--I thought for sure something was wrong. it would have been much better to read official articles on expected windows for milestones like crawling and walking BEFORE I had my daughter. Knowledge is power and it can save a ton of stress.

Now that my daughter is 3, I still find that there is so much that I do not know about her development. When I see her around other kids her age or I talk to her teachers at baby school--I sometimes get fears that her development may be lagging in an area. As a mom, we have a tendency to over react, and I am REALLY bad about that. I tend to take it personally when I shouldn't. It is just so hard not to. I find myself calling my mom (who has an early childhood degree and has taught 3 and 4 year olds for years) a lot with questions relating to P's development. Usually she tells me that I am crazy and that she is right on track. 

Sometimes I wish that there was a parenting class that you could take where they would tell you things to watch out for. I just feel like there is much more awareness now about cognitive and developmental delays, and I just don't feel like I would notice a delay even if it was there staring me in the face. I want to protect my daughter and support her in any way that I can, and these types of things scare the crap out of me.

5. Teething can cause cold like symptoms

When my daughter started teething and was running a low grade fever for a week solid--I rushed her into the doctor thinking surely something was wrong. I had no idea that teething can exhibit all kids of symptoms like congestion, and fevers. Who knew?

6. You are never out of the woods with night time sleep

I used to think that once you got your newborn to sleep through the night that it meant that they were able to consistently sleep through the night. I had no idea that you have to LEARN to fall asleep.  That it is a skill. I had no idea that she would continue to go through sleep regressions (didn't even know there was such a thing), wake up when she was overly tired, or sick. CRAZY.

7. That I would literally have nightmares about tantrums in public

If you missed my post on tantrums from Wednesday, then you can read it here. Toddler tantrums are my number one fear these days. Public toddler tantrums are my very own version of hell on earth. I knew that kids threw tantrums,  but having never remembered throwing one or seeing one myself--I had no idea the level of mortification that they can cause on the parent's part. Am I the only one?

8. Kids use car seats until they are 8 years old or 57 inches tall
I am all about safety, but I just didn't realize that car seats would be a thing in my life for 8 years. I don't remember sitting in one myself past 4, although I can't really trust my memories from that age. In addition I didn't realize that there were so many different stages of car seats. If I had I would have bought the Graco one that grows with them. I probably will if I have another.

9. How truly important a good support system is
I had heard "it takes a village" my whole life when it comes to raising kids. However, you just do not understand the true meaning of that phrase until you actually have children. It is so important for you to be able to take a moment to breathe. You need people on your side. Even if they are just someone to bounce ideas off of. It can make such a difference. I joined a Mommy and Me class when P was 2 weeks old. I still talk to a lot of those mommas. I am so grateful for their friendship.

Family is also so important. I want my child to have influences outside of her parents, and my child has her own little village of fans. It is so important to us and we could not do it without them.

10. There is no limit on love
I used to think that I knew exactly what my capacity for love was. I prided myself in being emotionally intelligent. I thought I loved deeply and fully. When I had P--my whole world changed. I no longer felt like I knew anything about love. She taught me that love means so much more. It exceeds exhaustion, frustration, grief, and anger. I love that little girl more than I love anything else in this world.

I occasionally worry that I would not be able to love another child like I love her. But the other night I was thinking about when I was pregnant with P--how I would worry that I might not love her. Thinking about how I feel about her now only confirms what she has shown me in her short three years of life--my capacity for love is endless when it comes to my children. Whether it was 1 child or 5--my ability to love would multiply with each one. I am certain of it.

I hope you enjoyed this list. I am feeling led to leave you with this quote:

"making the decision to have a child--it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body"

How very true these words by Elizabeth Stone are.

Happy Friday!
Caroline 

Bitter-sweet Moments

If you have been visiting with me since the beginning, you know that one of the biggest reasons that I decided to breastfeed was because I wanted to prevent my little P from getting sick. I am happy to report that other than one little case of the sniffles P has been 100% healthy her entire first year of life. The one think that BF couldn't protect her from was teething pain. Little Girl, or LG for short (I have started to call her this lately and cannot stop!) has been doing great with teething up until this week where she is cutting 4 teeth at the same time.

I find myself dealing with, a semi-sick baby. She is irritable, and having a hard time sleeping (naps only) because of the pain. Poor LG has become increasingly clingy. She stays close to me, and often wants to crawl in my lap and lay her little head down on my shoulder and whine.

Yesterday she laid on my shoulder and watched a whole 15 minute episode of the wiggles without cracking a smile or lifting her head. She is usually bouncing and dancing along. I knew that she was in real pain. So I reached for the Motrin (which I hate giving her) and decided that it wasn't worth letting her be in this much pain. None of the other remedies were helping her, and she needed some relief. She slept all night and awoke this morning with a smile on her face. I hope that she is able to dance again today.

Days like yesterday are bitter-sweet for this momma. I know that the times that she will lie with me and watch a show are few and far between. I understand that the moments in which she will sleep on my shoulder are not infinitely numbered. So while I am sad for her because I know that she is in pain. I couldn't help but spend the time smiling as I lightly stroked her brown curls and inhaled deeply the lingering scent of baby. Toddler days are so busy that there are not many moments usually to spend holding, caressing, kissing, and hugging. I will be thankful for each and every one I can get, even in the worst of circumstances.

Do you secretly love sick cuddles with your little one?

Sick Baby?

Welp, It finally happened. Piper ran her first real fever yesterday. She has run low grade fevers a few times over her 10 months of life, but most the time I barely noticed. She was acting normal and playing, eating, pooping, and peeing.

Yesterday afternoon when I woke her from her 3:00 nap she was very warm to the touch. Her back and stomach felt very hot to me. Her forehead was definitely warm. When I woke her I could tell that she just

wanted to go back to sleep. I brought her down stairs and she seemed disinterested in playing. She kept crawling over to me and climbing in my lap. This is something that she does when she is tired, so I knew something was up. I took her temp and it was 99.4. I thought, no big deal. She is just teething (breaking those top 2 teeth can be a booger). AND...I didn't give her any medicine.

I know-burn me at the stake. I feel horrible now looking back on it. But, hear me out. I feel that people over medicate their kids and I don't like to give her medicine if I can help it. Plus, the last time I gave her medicine she choked very badly and then projectile vomited everywhere. Needless to say I am not 100% comfortable with giving it to her.

So I waited it out. When my husband got home she smiled as he entered, but didn't want to crawl all the way to him like she normally does. I left to go get a shower present, and when I returned my husband told me that she felt really warm to him. She had been whimpering and not really playing like normal. I took her temp again and was surprised that it was 101. uh oh!

Enter the guilty feelings. The horrible, nagging, gut wrenching guilt that I had let my baby suffer in pain and yucky-ness for 3 hours. I felt like the worst mom in the world for letting her feel poorly. I just assumed that it was no big deal because she had run similar little fevers before. They always went away in an hour or so, and she was back to feeling better. This one was getting worse.

So now we are checking her temp around the clock. She is not a huge fan, but I don't want her feeling bad. I hope she is back to being my bubbly happy baby soon. Hopefully, there is not a doctor's visit in our near future.

What do you do when your baby is sick? How do you help them feel better when they are running a fever?

This Weekend

This weekend was a big weekend for our family. Piper’s Uncle M got engaged to his long time girlfriend, B. We are so excited for them to start their adventure together as husband and wife in December! I can’t wait to hear J’s Best Man speech, I am sure it will be hilarious! P is excited for her Aunt B to officially be Aunt B. I had such a special bond with my aunts growing up, and I think it is an important relationship to have in your life. I remember going to Backstreet Boys concerts, and going on trips to Tennessee and Hilton Head with my Aunts. I totally understand the value of having adult role models for your children outside of their own immediate family. So excited we are adding one to the list soon. We love you guys!

P and I also spent some time with her Glammy and GDaddy at their house. She didn’t particularly sleep well while there. She did not quite feel comfy in the Pack N Play. That is ok, though. She has since returned to her regular home sleep patterns.

I can’t totally blame her for being a little grumpy while at my parents house. She FINALLY cut those two bottom teeth. Thank god! We have been waiting on those suckers for what feels like forever. I am glad to have them out of the way. Maybe my girl will get some relief for a few weeks until the top ones make their entrance as well.

THEN, as if that wasn’t enough excitement for one weekend…last night P sat up all by herself. She was lying on her stomach and she pulled her knees in and walked her arms back until she was sitting up all by herself. To firmly cement her new skills she did it a few more times last night and a few more this morning. What a big girl! I was so proud of her! I just know that she will be crawling soon and I can’t wait for the extra exercise that will get me. I gotta fit in a nice dress for that December wedding!

Teething Woes and Happy 5 Months P!

Well, the day we have all been dreading is finally here…P is teething. She is drooling everywhere, chewing and nawing like crazy, and just down right miserable to be around these days. Though I know that this is just a part of her development, but I can’t help but lose my cool every once in awhile. I have been having bouts of the baby blues lately, and I don’t think that is a coincidence that this comes along at approximately the same time as P’s teething. I am finding that dealing with a teething baby is about as stressful as dealing with a newborn. It is just not fun!

Truthfully P was an amazing newborn, and I felt rested most of the time. Now, I have gotten used to my 8 hours of sleep at night, and I am less than thrilled about her waking me up at 6:00 every morning instead of sleeping till 7. Yes, I know it is just one hour, but I need that hour so much! I feel guilty that I get angry when I hear her crying before the sun comes up. I am frustrated that she seems to be regressing with her eating--causing her to regress with sleeping. How dare she undo all of my hard work. 

We have tried hurricane gel, tylenol before bed, frozen teethers, and massaging her gums. Nothing is working yet. UGH! ok, rant over!

Nevertheless P is 5 months old, and it is a time to celebrate. It’s summertime, and she has  experienced a lot of new first this month. She has rolled over, and started say Ba-ba and Da-da! She is quite the vocal baby lately. She enjoys examining the extremes of her voice. She squeals, squeaks, and moans constantly.

This month she has experienced the pool for the first time, and she took her first ride on a boat. She loves the water. Her little legs are kicking constantly while she floats along. I cannot wait to see her reaction to the ocean in two weeks! It should be interesting to see her reaction to sand between her perfect tiny toes.

She also rolled over for the first time this month, but she hasn’t done it since. I have been trying to give her a lot of practice on her tummy, but she protests after about five minutes. Toys have become a big favorite to her lately. She has taken a liking to her Sophie the Giraffe teether and her o-ball. However most days she would be happier with an empty water bottle. She loves textures, and is constantly running her chubby fingers along any new fabric or object that interests her. She is able to sit up for several seconds at a time unassisted.

Entertaining my little one is a lot more challenging this month than in the past. She does not want to lie down on her activity mat for very long, and would much rather be sitting or standing in my lap. She loves her bouncy seat and her walker. She still loves to swing and watch Baby First TV. She still has to be swaddled to sleep, and she is growing out of most of the swaddles that I have found. I am a little bit at a loss for how to transition her to sleeping without a swaddle or wearable blanket. Her legs and arms are still very active and she will wake herself easily. It is challenging to say the least.

Feeding time is about the same as nap time—she is very active. Her arms and legs are constantly moving. She is punching, slapping and clawing me and her daddy the whole time. Ultimately, I am happy with just a few ounces at a time. This has led to a nasty snacking habit that Babywise warned me against. However, I have tried to fight it for so long, and at this point, I am just trying to get the ounces in at any time I can. I know that if she doesn’t eat a certain amount by bedtime, that she will wake at night. So I guess this is just one of those pick your battle type things. Ultimately, baby girl can still put away 30 or more ounces in 24 hours if I let her snack all day long.

I have cut my pumping schedule down to 5 pumpings a day instead of 6. This means that I am now pumping every four hours instead of every 3—allowing me a lot more time to get things done. This has led me to a greater quality of life. I can leave the house for date night without having to pump while we are out. I just pump in the car on the way to dinner and then pump when we get home. It’s because of this fact that I will probably continue my pumping after 6 months.

Speaking of the 6 month mark… we are very excited to be starting solids in just a few weeks. I am looking forward to doing a hybrid Baby Led Weaning and puree type deal with P. I want to give her some finger foods that she can naw on, but I also want to make some purees for her. I don’t know that I am quite ready to let go enough to let her feed herself entirely (as BLW traditionally recommends). I want her to be more dependent on me than that. I’m CRAZY!

Overall, I think the last five months have been some of the best of my life. Piper is a happy chunky little angel that I love oh-so-much!

Happy 5 months baby P! I am so lucky to call you my Piperoo, Piperdoodle, but most importantly—my daughter. Mommy loves you so much!