When She Drives Me To Tears

Last night was one of those nights. P had an accident with potty training at school where she literally fell off of the potty and peed all over herself. I think it scarred her a bit, and therefore she was very mean to me all afternoon.

Even though I know that she is a toddler, and that she can only control her bodily functions. I understand that she was frustrated and disappointed in herself. I knew she was taking it out on me because she is most comfortable with me. I know that she was doing it because she loves me the most. I know because I used to do it too--to my mom. But it doesn't make it any easier.

Last night we had a 45 minute battle of the wills over going to the potty before bed. P is at the point where she knows that she is not supposed to go in her panties or her pull up. I knew that she had been holding it ever since she left daycare. For whatever reason she was refusing to go, and was visibly uncomfortable. I mean, she was doing the "I have to pee dance."

So she screamed and hit and slapped in my direction. I kept my cool just gently saying, "step up on your stool." She never did. The stand off finally ended with me stripping her pants and pull up off only for her to kick it up a notch into violent rage--therefore emptying her bladder all over the floor and her pajamas. Then she screamed because she is, "Not supposed to pee on the floor."

I felt awful for her. I know that regressions happen. I just hope that I haven't scarred her against the potty for awhile. Mostly, I felt guilty because all I could think about was getting away from her. All I wanted to do was cry for me, for her, and for all the future times I know I will be her punching bag. It's one of my jobs as a mom, but it is not one that I enjoy.

So I let myself cry for her, and for me. Then I went about my night. Hoping and praying that this morning would be different. She did protest slightly at going potty for me this morning, but she did finally go after I bribed her with M&Ms (which didn't work last night).

Last night was one of those nights where being a mom is just hard. We are having a lot of those lately--rebellious toddlers are harder than I thought. It made me appreciate my mom even more--for all the times that I know I took things out on her. She lost it sometimes--but mostly she understood. I didn't deserve understanding--but I always got it. I'm learning how to be more like that--and hoping some day that I will.

Happy Hump Day!

One of the Last Baby Things

Through out my journey into this thing called Motherhood--I have chronicled the lasts of the Baby Things. It seems that we are entering into the last season of Babyhood for P. While this particular baby item was never my favorite--I still found it in me to mourn it slightly. Good thing this particular item is not one that we can get rid of in just a few days. It will take a few weeks at least. I am certainly up to the challenge--but for the first time in forever--I feel very at peace with letting this transition happen at its own pace.

Yes, my friends, P has started Potty Training!!!

OMG--I am so surprised and shocked that this time is already upon us. I was so not expecting it at all. P had not been showing any interest in the potty what-so-ever, and her doctor had told me that most children are not ready until 2 1/2 to 3 years old and some don't potty train until almost 4. (YIKES on that last one there).

THEN--they moved her up to the older 2 year old room. Which I cried over slightly because she is not older twos--she is younger twos. But I would never be one to hold her back if the evidence is saying otherwise. That would be selfish of me. So I let her move up early. The difference is that this room was full of children who were potty-trained. No biggie, right. I didn't think anything of it. Like, good luck with that, sistahs. She is a tough little nugget to crack. Like always--I doubted my girl. (I really should stop doing that. It is when she surprises me most). After day one she had successfully gone in the potty three times. On day two in the class she had kept her diaper dry all day and gone potty successfully for them each time they asked her to. They even claim that she tells them when she has to go. (I have yet to see this myself, so I'm calling BS on that one...See doubter that I am).

The next week she wore panties all week and only had 3 accidents. I had to face the music that my kid might actually be getting potty trained. So I decided that I needed to step it up at home to supplement her training. Here is what I have learned so far:

1. It is totally normal for your kid to be potty trained at school and not at home.
Who knew this was a thing. For the first few days P would not go for me at home. I was really confused so I did some research and apparently it is common. Who knew? SO I had to get creative--which is code word for bribe her with M&Ms.

2. Find an incentive that works for your kid
For P it is candy because she loves sweets. Whenever I ask if she has to go potty she always says no. Then, if I mention that she doesn't get M&Ms if she wets her pants--all of the sudden she has to go. It's magic. I only give her M&Ms for going successfully and not for trying. That is a decision you have to make.

3. You have to act like a fool when they are successful
Kids are people pleasers. Every time she successfully uses the potty--I clap my hands, scream yay, do a little dance, and give hugs and kisses. She now says proudly, "I did it!" Which is so cute.

4. Routine helps
I take her to the potty every 45 minutes to 1 hour that she is with me. This really  helps to keep her from having accidents. I also have a very specific potty routine. It is similar to her school routine. Stand on stool (we use a potty seat on our toilet with a stool). Turn around and pull down pants and undies. Sit and use potty. Stand back up on stool. Wipe. Step down. Pull up undies and pants. Flush. Then wash hands. We do it the same way every single time with no deviation. If it's rushed or different--I think it causes her anxiety and she wont go. I know--I'm crazy.

5. Decide what tools you are using and make sure you have them on each floor
we decided that we did not want to use a smaller potty since she uses a regular toilet at school. So we bought two potty seats and two stools. I like this seat and this stool. One for each floor so that we don't have to continuously move them.

6. Don't sweat the nap and night time battle yet
I'm not in any rush there. I bought a big ole box of pull ups and I plan to use them for naps and bedtime until she is better about being consistently dry each time. I like the Pampers. Plus, we are still in a crib for now. I think some people feel pressure to do this all at once. I think it is too overwhelming. So I am ok with making that a step for another time.

7. Pack an extra pair of clothes (including socks and shoes) whenever you leave the house
Accidents can and will happen. So it is important to be prepared. The shoes is the worst to me. My mom bought P 2 new pairs of sneakers that can go in the washing machine for her to wear at school where accidents seem to happen the most. It is easy to throw them in the wash at the end of the day.

So that is all I have on this subject for now. The truth is that this last baby thing is a process. It is not something that can be accomplished in 3 days (contrary to what Pinterest wants you to believe.) So while I am looking forward to some extra money in my pocket once she is fully potty trained--I'm not counting chickens anytime soon.

Happy Monday!

How I Survived Disney With My 2 Year Old

Hello Lovlies!

I know, I know, I have been gone a long time. I know. I am sucking at this whole blogging thing lately. I mostly only write when I am inspired to share something that happened in my life. Over the last 6 weeks I have been planning a disney vacation for my family. We are now back from the happiest place on earth, and I want to share with you all how I survived with my two year old.

First of all, let me say that this is not really a how to post. Since all kids are different, and there were definitely moments that I could have planned out better. More than anything this is just a play by play of what worked for my 2 year old and our family. In the hopes that it might help you.

So... here it goes. 5 things about Disney with my 2 year old

1. I learned so much about my child.

Holy bananas! She was so much better than I expected her to be in so many ways. She was also different than I expected her to be in many ways as well. Overall, it was a great trip, but she was definitely surprising overall. My child HATED taking pictures with Santa. In fact, she refused to take photos with him. So I was very fearful that she would react the same way to all of the disney characters. Boy, was I wrong. SO WRONG! This was by and large the best part of our trip. She loved the characters the most. She would wait patiently to see Mickey and Minnie. In fact she met them at every park that we went to. She met them three times. That was about the only thing that she wanted to do. I think that this is mostly due to the fact that she was prepared and comfortable with each of the characters we met. I showed her lots of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and she loved Frozen and has a Belle Lego Figurine. She knew them. They were real to her. Which was the whole reason I wanted to take her. To see that was a once in a lifetime thing.

I thought that she would love rides like Dumbo and Triceratop Spin. Again, a big WRONG! While she did pretty well on Dumbo. She was constantly saying, "I'm done." By the end of the week she was saying firmly, "NO MORE RIDES, MOMMY." Eventhough this hurt my feelings a bit--ultimately I still felt that it was a good trip overall. If I had it all to do all over again. I would show her videos off of YouTube of each ride I plan on taking her on. I have read since our trip that this fact really helps!

2. It doesn't take much to scare permanently scar a 2 year old!

Before our trip a read a lot of posts on other blogs about rides that were best for 2 year olds. I read about rides that might be scary, and I avoided those. However, my child was scared of even the tamest rides. I made the rookie mistake of thinking that a 4-d show like Mickey's Philharmagic was a good idea. (SO STUPID) Like any toddler would be ok with have water thrown in their face in the dark, and having pictures jump out in their face. I wish with everything I have that I didn't take her in that theater. I truly believe she would have been open to more rides if that hadn't been the third thing I took her to on the very first day. The rest of the trip she didn't trust me when I said, "no scary."

3. Three days with a two year old is more than enough

I signed us up for 4 days, and by the end of the third day it was clear that P could not take much more. On our last day, we only brought her in for the last two hours we were at the park. That was fine because she was free. I will tell you though, I secretly was done too after three days. I didn't want to go back for the 4th day, but I was NOT free. So I had to go. It is a lot for the littles. The stimulation they receive there is unlike any other. AND the great thing about Disney is that they will always prorate another day for you. Next time I will book 3 days, and add on a 4th if she seems like she can take it. Same price, but you aren't married to it.

4. Take the big stroller if you dare!

At first, I was just going to bring a very lightweight umbrella stroller to the park. At the eleventh hour, I changed my mind and brought both the lightweight umbrella, and our gigantic jogging stroller. Both were used, and both served great purpose, and both were not without their downsides.
Here are the pros of each:

Umbrella--lightweight, easy to take on the tram and monorail, each to maneuver.
Jogging--reclines, has canopy, has cupholders, has storage

You can see my dilemma. what ended up happening was that we usually took the jogging in the morning because it was the longer stretch at the park and brought the umbrella back in the afternoon after nap. The jogging stroller did not fit on the trams and was hard to maneuver on the monorail even. So I was mostly walking to the park from the car and back with it. Which is fine until you have walked 20,000 steps in one day. That is not an exaggeration either! I didn't want to buy a mid-weight umbrella stroller just for Disney, but I probably should have.

5. Stay in a Disney Resort if you can

We did not stay in a Disney Resort. My mom has a timeshare and traded it. So technically we paid very little to stay in Orlando. The problem was we were about 6-8 miles away from the parks. This may not seem like much, but it became a 45 minute to 1 hour ordeal every time we went or came home. I have a 2 year old who loves to nap, and who becomes a devil without sleep.  AND she will no sleep anywhere like some children. I wasn't willing to keep her there without a nap. So we spent a lot of time traveling to and from the parks. If we stayed in a Disney Resort that time would have been cut in half at least. We could have taken a bus to and from the resort (this also saves $20 a day in parking)! It's the best way to go with a napping child in my opinion. DO IT!

That is it for now. I will be posting more posts on Disney soon. Check back here. I would love to hear about your little ones and how they have done on Disney trips. I know that we are not the norm in many cases.

I have a problem!

I have had this problem for a long time now. I had it when I was a young child. It got better as I got older, and then returned once I was in college and has stayed pretty permanent in my life since then. Are you ready to hear what it is????

I am addicted to a good book!

Not like most healthy readers who read a chapter in bed every night. Or those who find comfort on a lazy Sunday afternoon in a good book. I am the reader who once I am hooked on a good book... I can do nothing else; think about northing else. It is crazy. I would rather read that book than anything else. All of my other relationships suffer. My DVR sits untouched. I just can't stand it. I will even spend planning time at work finishing up a chapter. What is wrong with me?

So this brings me to you all out there. I have just finished these two amazing books; The Luckiest Girl Alive, and The Girl On The Train. OMG They were both amazing. If you haven't read them, then you need to do it asap!

The Luckiest Girl Alive is suspenseful because it alludes to something awful that has happened, but you are not really sure what it is until the end. It is a story with a very confused narrator, and someone who I wasn't really even sure that I liked--that is, until the very end. It was SO, SO, SO, good. I highly recommend it!

The next one, The Girl On The Train, it kept me on the edge of my seat for the whole 48 hours it took me to read it. Seriously, you will be haunted by it. It centers around a disappearance of a young woman. The narrator, Rachel, is also one that it took me a long time to actually like. But in the end she realizes that the darkness that she had been lead to believe about herself wasn't true at all. I have chills right now just typing about it. You need to check it out.

Reading for me is an escape. It gives me a happiness that I cannot describe. I love to curl up on the couch with my book and a cup of coffee and just smile. It is such a way to relax.

What great books have you read lately? I need some suggestions! Seriously! I need a fix, and quick!

Incoming!

There are times in my life where I feel completely and totally prepared for a situation or event that is coming up next in my life, then there are times where I feel like I am hurtling down a dark road towards the next month and event. I always start to feel this way this time of year.

My husband is a soccer coach. So January-April are really long months for us. During these months I take on more responsibility than I normally have. I am home alone with P until at least 6 each night, and on some game nights I am alone until after she goes to bed--sometimes J doesn't get home until after I am in bed. I also take on a lot of the meals during this time because J just isn't home. AND--I don't mind. I really don't mind. There are parts of me that actually feel better during this time of the year because I feel like I am contributing more. BUT it is a hard few months.

This year I am going into soccer season with a goal in mind. We are currently planning a disney trip for the family over Spring Break. It will be a nice distraction from the home stretch of both school and soccer. I am counting down the days.

Like most things I have been scouring Pinterest and blogs for all things DisneyWorld. I AM SO EXCITED!

J on the other hand--not so trilled. the thought of lugging a 2 year old around DisneyWorld excites the opposite feelings in him that they do in me. I cannot wait to see the look on her face when she meets Mickey Mouse and Minnie. I think she will love the rides and shows. I am oh-so-trilled to do this for me (uh, I mean her). It was a freudian slip--I promise.

By the time we get to spring break I am so going to deserve to be in the happiest place on earth. I want it to be perfect--so if you have advice for how to navigate Disney with a 2 year old--please send it my way. I definitely have Mickey information overload.

What gets you through the rough months?

Piper's Second Birthday Party

On Saturday we had my little girl's second birthday party. You may not know this, but I am crazy when it comes to celebrations. I want them to be perfect. I agonize over details. I want it to be picture perfect. I would like to say that this is all for selfless reasons. I just want to make it pretty for my baby, but--let's face it, she's not going to remember the party that I threw her this past weekend. What she will love is looking back at the pictures, and hearing the story of how she pushed her Uncle Matt's full plate of food on the floor, or about how she kept throwing her presents around like they were trash, or how she spent the first few minutes outside playing soccer.

So no, it wasn't all for her. It is also for me. I am firmly aware that I am making memories and traditions. Not just for my daughter, but for me. Everything in my being wants to make life so perfect for that little girl because she so deserves perfection from me and those around her. Even though life is not that way for long--I am going to make sure it stays that way for her as long as I can.

I have been working on Piper's second birthday party since she was 18 months old. I do this for several reasons--mostly to spread out the money, but also because I get so excited planning the theme. Our theme this year was "oh-TWO-dles" It was a Minnie Mouse Clubhouse. I think it turned out pretty great!

What is different about this year's party from last years is that I did all of the decorations myself. I didn't order or buy anything from any Etsy shops. Instead--I used my Cricut machine that my mom bought me for my birthday last year--and I got to work. I became the birthday elf--as I liked to call it. Everything you see was made by me (except for the cake and cupcakes), and I couldn't be happier with the results.

Last Friday night I stayed up late decorating the whole house--and on Saturday morning when P came downstairs--she lit up just like Christmas morning--AND that--I will ALWAYS remember.

What themes are you doing for little one's next party? I'd love to hear about it, and help you out if you need. It is so much fun, and totally rewarding!

Happy Wednesday!
Caroline

Happy 2nd Birthday P!

January 13, 2016

Dear Piper,

Today is your 2nd birthday! HOORAY! Today is your day! I could not be more excited to celebrate you!

You weigh in at 30 pounds and are 34 inches tall. You have 14 teeth. Your hair reaches down to the middle of your back, but it is hard to tell because you have pretty little curls.

I can't believe that it was two years ago today that you came into my world. I have loved you every single moment of my life, even before you were conceived. As far back as I can remember I have always wanted a little girl--and you are the answer to all of those hopes and prayers over the years. BUT--you are so much more than what I hoped for. You amaze me every single day.

There are so many things that you have learned this year. You now speak pretty well. I can still remember the first time that you looked at me out of the blue and just said, "I wub you momma." I thought my heart might explode. Now, you are constantly telling me that you love me. Each time it can instantly brighten my day. You are quite the comedian. I love the sound of your voice. You have the tendency to be bossy at times. Always telling  me to go here or go get you something. You are never rude on purpose--ok, maybe sometimes you are, but you are learning your manners as well. You have recently started saying please and thank you to me.

You love to sing. It is one of your favorite past times. I hope that you never lose that quality. Everyday on the way to and from school you love to sing the song of your choice. Your favorites at the moment include "If You're Happy and You Know It," "The Wheels On The Bus," "Ring around the Rosie," and of course, "Let It Go." I love to sing with you. You also love to sing to your new baby doll. You rock her in your little arms and sing the same songs I sing to you each night. Then you put her "night, night." My heart feels so full each time I see it. I realize that you are watching me and learning how to be a mommy. It makes me feel so proud of you.

This year I decided to go back into the classroom after being home with you for the first year and half of your life. It was a very hard decision, but it was one that I made for you. I wanted you to learn to socialize with other children--and you have succeeded in that arena. You have many friends at school. Your teachers, Ms. Jessica and Ms. Meg--adore you. They call you Pip Pip. They say that you  hold hands with your friends, Riley and Hadley. How cute!

Your favorite toys right now are books. Any and all books. You will literally sit in the middle of the floor and read each and every book on your shelves--declaring, "THE END" after each one! It is quite the site. We now have to take books everywhere for entertainment. You even read while I dry your hair every night.

The holidays were amazing this year with you. You loved opening your Hanukkah and Christmas gifts. You would exclaim "OH!" with each one. You adored your Elf on the Shelf, Grumpy. You couldn't wait to figure out what mischief he had gotten into during the night. You were sad when he went back to the North Pole. You fell in love with the Hanukkah Song. It was all you wanted to sing for weeks afterward.

And now your birthday is here. You are two. Last night you kept informing me, "I two." You are so smart! We sang the Happy Birthday song to you over and over again because you asked us to. Then we all went upstairs and played a game of Pillows. It is a game that you invented all on your own. You tell us to sleep, then wake, and then chase you around the room. Almost a musical chairs, but with pillows. You giggle the whole time we play, and your daddy and I just look at each other and wonder how we got so lucky as to be your parents.

I look forward to the next age and stage of your life. You are becoming so independent that at times it is hard for me. I want to protect you and to do everything for you. I want to shelter you from the world around you, but I also want you to learn to fly on your own. I know that I have to learn to release control so that you can figure out who and what you want to me. I apologize in advance for all of the times that I will fail at this. Remember that everything I do--I do because I love you so much that the fear of anything happening to you is all-consuming, crippling even. So remember that as you grow. You carry my heart with you--so take care not to break it.

Happy Birthday to my Pooper, Pipies, Pip Pip, Pesto Pipes, and Piper. You are the greatest thing that I have ever done. You are my ever changing masterpiece. I love you more than all the cookies in the grocery store and stars in the sky. I was the first to love you, and I will love you forever. You are the most precious gift I have ever received. I am so thankful each and every day for you. Thank you for being my daughter.

So enjoy your day! I have worked tirelessly on your Minnie Mouse themed party. This weekend all of your family--real and adopted--will gather together to celebrate you. You can have as many cupcakes as you can hold. May you love each and every present you open. You so deserve it!

Happy 2nd Birthday!
I love you!

Love,
Mommy