Happy 6 Months P!

My baby is 6 months old! It feel s like just yesterday I was counting down the days until her due date and having nightmares about what birth would be like. Now, I would give anything to go back to that day—to relive it over again—to pay better attention to each minute. It just went by too fast. The baby that I had then barely resembles the chunky monkey that I have today. She is rambunctious, sassy and adorable. I love her oh-so-much.

This month has been C-R-A-Z-Y. We had our first beach trip and started solid foods. P has become even more animated and mobile than ever—yet she still isn’t rolling over. My mom says that she is just like her Mommy (I didn’t walk until I was almost two). I guess my girl will do it all in her own time, and I will try not to worry about it.

P loves the bath and the pool. She dislikes the sand and the ocean. This girl loves to be outside no matter the temperature or the weather. She is getting a touch of the stranger danger. My cousin tried to hug her as soon as she walked through the door and P quickly let her know that she was not happy about it. Poor L was scared to hold her the rest of our beach trip. I am secretly happy that she has developed a little more mommy-centeredness. She whines when I walk too far away, and is more interested in cuddling with me.

On the other hand, my baby is mean. She likes to slap, punch, kick, and scratch me when I make her mad—and sometimes just because. I have started pulling back from her and saying no, but she often just smiles at me. I am afraid that she is going to be just as mean as her mommy was as a child. They say you get it back in your own children. I may be in serious trouble.

She is still sleeping in her swaddle because she will slap herself and kick until no end, thus rendering her wide awake during nap and nighttime. We have been struggling in the sleep department for the last two weeks. She often wakes at least one time—and sometimes likes to stay up for an hour or so slamming her legs on her mattress. I have wondered if home girl is possessed.

As I have mentioned previously, her appetite has slowed. We are having a hard time starting solid foods as well. She seems to be more interested in playing than in eating whether it be solids or bottles. I am still pumping for her (go me).

P loves to stare at herself in the mirror. She will even laugh at herself. She likes to talk and even shriek with happiness. She can walk around in her walker and is sitting up for longer periods of time without falling over.

She will roll from side to side while on her back, but will not roll over. She has rolled from tummy to back 3 times, but that is it. The 3 occurrences where months apart.  The docs don’t seem to be too concerned.

She is a slave to her schedule. If she gets out of whack—I know that she will make me pay. She does so often. She is also teething and this has caused some mood swings. We have no actual teeth yet, just a lot of drool and fussiness.

There is so much to look forward to in the next few months and every little milestone is so exciting. I cry every time she does something new.

I am so in love with her little personality and am so grateful for the happy little baby girl that I have. I wouldn’t trade her for a million bucks (although, my hubs might).

I Love you little Piperoo! I am so glad you are mine.

Love,

Mommy

Please Eat!

The past month has been CRAZY, hence my lack of posts. My little munchkin just turned 6 months old (sigh), and we just got back from her first beach trip.

I was so excited to start P on solid foods I could barely contain myself. However, as we approached the middle of her 5^th month something started changing with my girl—she stopped sleeping through the night. UGH! I had been warned about the 4 month sleep regression, but could it really be a while month and a half late? P was waking in the middle of night and staying up from one to two hours. I am just not prepared for this type of sleep deprivation anymore. When she was a newborn—I expected it. Now, not so much.

I started rummaging the internet for ideas on what it could be, and some people said it may be her way of telling us that she is ready for solid foods. So I went out and bought three sweet potatoes, three bananas, and 5 apples. I was so proud of myself while making my homemade baby food. I was hopeful that she would fall in love with the first bite and sleep the whole night through. WELL—she didn’t!

We are struggling mightily with solid foods. She may open her mouth for a bite or two, but then she is done. I have tried homemade, store bought. We have tried rice cereal, oatmeal cereal, applesauce, peaches, sweet potatoes, and bananas. While she will take some better than others (peaches, apples, and sweet potatoes), most of the time she closes those gummy gates and say no thanks! I was frustrated because I really thought that I needed her to eat these solids so that she would sleep more.

Then I read that it probably would not affect her night sleep—so I started to look at her schedule as the culprit. Maybe my baby was just ready for more awake time during the day. At the time she was still taking 4- 90 minute naps a day. I decided to drop her to three naps and also move her to a four hour schedule with three attempts at solids a day. Here is what it looks like:

7:00—wake and bottle

8:00—solids

9:00—nap

11:00—wake and bottle

12:00—solids

1:00—nap

3:00—wake and bottle

5:00—catnap

6:00—wake and bottle

7:00—solids

7:30—bath and then bedtime routine

8:30—Bottle and then bed time

I would like to tell you that this has been an easy fix, and a pleasant transition—but that would be a lie. P has still not returned to sleeping through the night consistently. She does it here and there. Part of her problem may be teething related as well. Who knows? It is better now, because when she wakes in the night she is not getting up and staying up anymore. She takes a little bottle and goes back to sleep.

It seems that my girl is a little too interested in all of the things going on around her lately—and this interferes with her eating drastically. She has become a nightmare to feed. She will never take more than three ounces at a time. Gone are the days when she would eat 30 ounces a day. We are lucky to get to 25. Therefore, she wakes to get some calories at night. I have tried everything I can think of to get her to eat. I offer the bottle what seems like every 5 minutes. She refuses it most of the time.

I guess I can’t complain—my girl is happy all day long. She is a joy to be around in general. She is still chunky as well (she is 2 pounds from tripling her birth weight).

Have any of you dealt with eating issues with your 6 month olds? What did you do to combat them?

My Tips for Exclusive Pumping Moms

 Exclusive pumping is a hard job, and it is not one to be undertaken lightly. I definitely didn’t know what I was getting myself into in the beginning. Now, that things are getting a lot easier for me on the pump front—I thought I would share a few of my tips.

FAQ—these are questions that I had when starting my exclusive pumping journey and the answers that I have found that work for me.

Q: How long should I pump?

A: This is really a tricky one because some people prefer to pump a certain amount of time, some have an volume goal they are trying to reach, and some just pump until empty every time. The answer is different depending where you are in your current pumping journey (and I do consider it a journey).

If I am having a hard time with my supply, then I will pump until empty every single time for a few days. This (to me) means at least 15 minutes or up to five minutes after the last drop. You do not want to do this for too long because your nipples will be really sore.

If I am not concerned about my supply and just want to maintain where I am, then I will pump towards a particular volume goal. My current goal at least 6 ounces per pump.

If I have somewhere to go and don’t have as much time, then I may set my phone timer for 15 minutes and then just cut it off. However, I never pump less than 15 minutes. EVER.

Q: How often do I need to pump?

A: this again is based on where you are in your journey with pumping. In the beginning I was pumping 6 times a day because my baby was eating 6 times a day. However, I eventually got to the point where I was producing almost twice what she was taking in a 24 hour period. I was running out of room in my freezer for all the extras and milk was starting to go bad. So, I cut out a pumping. This is where I currently am in my journey. P still has 6 feedings a day, but I only pump 5 times. I am still able to keep up my supply and her demand plus I am able to save about 6 ounces a day.

If you are just starting out, then I would say that you need to pump as often as your baby eats. Keep a notepad near where you pump/feed your baby with two columns on it. One for the number of ounces your baby takes at each feeding, and one for the number or ounces your pump for that feeding. Add the up at the end of the day and see where you stand.

Q: How do I cut out a pumping without affecting my supply?

A: I cut out a pumping by just increasing the amount of time between pumpings. If you are currently pumping every 3 hours, then start pumping every 4 and cut one out that way.

How Can You Make Exclusive Pumping Easier for You?

This is the biggest issue with exclusive pumping—it is inconvenient. One of the hardest things with pumping is that you are tied to a machine with a plug, and it can make it hard for you to get out. For instance, we have a white water rafting trip planned, and I am going to need to go 6 hours without pumping. This is not ideal, but I am going to have to figure out a way to make it work.

Here are the things that I have found to make my life easier while pumping

1.       Get a hands free pumping bra—This saved my life. I am a work from home mom, and when my husband is not home there are times that I have to feed P and pump at the same time in order to be as efficient as possible. I picked up a hands free pumping bra and I will never hold the bottles while pumping again! It allows me to have my hands free to hold P or work while pumping.

2.       Get a car adapter for your pump—I have pumped in the car while driving and while being a passenger more times than that can count on both hands. It makes getting out of the house so much easier. When I have a makeup job, then I pump on the way there, and then on my way home. The adapter saves me from having to pump while I am there! It also makes date night a lot easier.

3.       Get extra pump parts and extra bottles for storage. Getting these extras will just mean that you have to wash less.

4.       Pack your pump bag the night before when you can. It is often a mad dash getting ready to go somewhere in my family. Therefore, I like to pack everything up ahead of time if I can so that I will not forget something important.

5.       Grab some Medela steam bags for quick sterilization for pump and bottle parts.

6.       Get some quick clean wipes for cleaning your pump on the go.

Here is what My schedule with pumping currently looks like

7:00 am—Wake P and feed

7:30—Pump

8:30—P’s nap

10:00—Wake P and feed

11:00—pump

11:30—P’s nap

1:00 pm—Wake P and feed

2:30—P’s nap

3:00—Pump

4:00—Wake P and feed

5:30—P’s nap

7:00—Wake P and hubby gives P a bottle while I pump

7:45—P’s cereal feeding

8:00—bath time

8:30—P’s bedtime

10:30—Last pumping of the day

11:00-P’s dream feed

I hope that these things help you exclusive pumpers out there! I wish you the best of luck and the most encouragement I can. I know we all need it!

Teething Woes and Happy 5 Months P!

Well, the day we have all been dreading is finally here…P is teething. She is drooling everywhere, chewing and nawing like crazy, and just down right miserable to be around these days. Though I know that this is just a part of her development, but I can’t help but lose my cool every once in awhile. I have been having bouts of the baby blues lately, and I don’t think that is a coincidence that this comes along at approximately the same time as P’s teething. I am finding that dealing with a teething baby is about as stressful as dealing with a newborn. It is just not fun!

Truthfully P was an amazing newborn, and I felt rested most of the time. Now, I have gotten used to my 8 hours of sleep at night, and I am less than thrilled about her waking me up at 6:00 every morning instead of sleeping till 7. Yes, I know it is just one hour, but I need that hour so much! I feel guilty that I get angry when I hear her crying before the sun comes up. I am frustrated that she seems to be regressing with her eating--causing her to regress with sleeping. How dare she undo all of my hard work. 

We have tried hurricane gel, tylenol before bed, frozen teethers, and massaging her gums. Nothing is working yet. UGH! ok, rant over!

Nevertheless P is 5 months old, and it is a time to celebrate. It’s summertime, and she has  experienced a lot of new first this month. She has rolled over, and started say Ba-ba and Da-da! She is quite the vocal baby lately. She enjoys examining the extremes of her voice. She squeals, squeaks, and moans constantly.

This month she has experienced the pool for the first time, and she took her first ride on a boat. She loves the water. Her little legs are kicking constantly while she floats along. I cannot wait to see her reaction to the ocean in two weeks! It should be interesting to see her reaction to sand between her perfect tiny toes.

She also rolled over for the first time this month, but she hasn’t done it since. I have been trying to give her a lot of practice on her tummy, but she protests after about five minutes. Toys have become a big favorite to her lately. She has taken a liking to her Sophie the Giraffe teether and her o-ball. However most days she would be happier with an empty water bottle. She loves textures, and is constantly running her chubby fingers along any new fabric or object that interests her. She is able to sit up for several seconds at a time unassisted.

Entertaining my little one is a lot more challenging this month than in the past. She does not want to lie down on her activity mat for very long, and would much rather be sitting or standing in my lap. She loves her bouncy seat and her walker. She still loves to swing and watch Baby First TV. She still has to be swaddled to sleep, and she is growing out of most of the swaddles that I have found. I am a little bit at a loss for how to transition her to sleeping without a swaddle or wearable blanket. Her legs and arms are still very active and she will wake herself easily. It is challenging to say the least.

Feeding time is about the same as nap time—she is very active. Her arms and legs are constantly moving. She is punching, slapping and clawing me and her daddy the whole time. Ultimately, I am happy with just a few ounces at a time. This has led to a nasty snacking habit that Babywise warned me against. However, I have tried to fight it for so long, and at this point, I am just trying to get the ounces in at any time I can. I know that if she doesn’t eat a certain amount by bedtime, that she will wake at night. So I guess this is just one of those pick your battle type things. Ultimately, baby girl can still put away 30 or more ounces in 24 hours if I let her snack all day long.

I have cut my pumping schedule down to 5 pumpings a day instead of 6. This means that I am now pumping every four hours instead of every 3—allowing me a lot more time to get things done. This has led me to a greater quality of life. I can leave the house for date night without having to pump while we are out. I just pump in the car on the way to dinner and then pump when we get home. It’s because of this fact that I will probably continue my pumping after 6 months.

Speaking of the 6 month mark… we are very excited to be starting solids in just a few weeks. I am looking forward to doing a hybrid Baby Led Weaning and puree type deal with P. I want to give her some finger foods that she can naw on, but I also want to make some purees for her. I don’t know that I am quite ready to let go enough to let her feed herself entirely (as BLW traditionally recommends). I want her to be more dependent on me than that. I’m CRAZY!

Overall, I think the last five months have been some of the best of my life. Piper is a happy chunky little angel that I love oh-so-much!

Happy 5 months baby P! I am so lucky to call you my Piperoo, Piperdoodle, but most importantly—my daughter. Mommy loves you so much!

What's next?

This is crazy rant that I had in my head this morning. I just felt that it needed out. Love it or leave it!

Here is the thing about growing up…It’s exciting when you are younger, intimidating when you are twenty, scary when your forty. I’ve got one word for it—OVERATED.

My baby cousin graduated from College this year. She is officially a grown-up—on paper at least. Now she has to find a job, and figure out her path in life. I wish her the best of luck in everything that she does. I remember those days all too well. They were unsettling to say the least. Gone are the days of reckless abandon. Fast coming are job interviews, bills, student loan payments. I remember thinking, “when did I grow up and how do I make it stop?”

I would like to be able to tell her that it will get better, and that things will work out the way that they are intended to. BUT—I know that these are the clichés that everyone else around her are handing her on a silver platter. They are words of comfort in an uncomfortable transition. The truth is that the tough decisions are going to keep on coming, and you just have to trust that you are heading down the right path.

I have great sympathy for her because the first 5 years of my twenties were not my favorites. I made a lot of mistakes, took a lot of people for granted, and wasted a lot of money. I didn’t do it right—things didn’t turn out the way that I wanted them to.  Quarter life crisis was in high gear in my mid-twenties. I want to shelter her from that. But I know I can’t! The truth is that I have entered into an entirely new crisis in my life. It is one that I haven’t yet defined.

Isn’t it funny how we spend the first 18 years of our life begging for time to speed up, and then the rest of our life struggling against the pace. I see it every day in my daughter’s face. When I put her down for the night I always think—please don’t grow up little girl—I’m not ready. But grow up she will. Isn’t that the reason that we have them… to raise them, mold them, love them into amazing humans? I no longer worry about growing older myself, but I worry about something much scarier. What’s next?

That’s the question folks…What is next? It’s the one we ask ourselves through every major transition in life. When we are kids and we go from elementary to middle school we worry about what is next. When we go to college…get married…are pregnant…are a new mom. What is next? I will admit that I have always been a pusher. When I graduated from college I wanted to get married, so I pushed and pushed and pushed my college sweetheart for a ring—A ring that I would never get from him. When I heard, “I’m not ready,” I moved on. I was ready…dammit. He was holding me back from what was next. He was keeping me from that plan in the back of my mind. That plan was Married by 24 and baby by 26. I didn’t want to be an older mom. I wanted to have my children young. Truth was that we were not right for each other, and he obviously knew that. It would have been a disastrous pairing for the long haul.

I was married by 24 and I had P at 26. There was a lot of pressuring my poor husband so that those things would coincide with the schedule in my head. AND FOR WHAT? Would it have made a difference if it were a year down the road? Or two? Probably not…but I was rushing towards P. I was worried that I would never have kids because of my PCOS. But I did have her, and she is perfect. I thought that after she was here that I would relax.  I figured that there would be peace in my heart. Something in my mind that would say…this is it. You are where you wanted to be, and now you can just enjoy it. And it was that way—for about four and half months. Let me just say that I know I am CRAZY. She is five months old, and I find myself tearing up when another one of my facebook friends announces that they are pregnant.

It all stems from this…My husband does not want another child.  He feels done. BUT I DO NOT FEEL DONE. I feel sad at each one of my daughter’s milestones. I look at them all as my first and lasts. I feel a sadness at the thought that she may grow up without a sibling. That if anything were to happen to me that she would bear that alone. Truthfully, I don’t want another for a few years. So why am I worried about it. I think it is the permanence of the statement—done. The thought of never being pregnant, delivering, or nursing another baby—it makes me very sad. When I express these thoughts to my hubs he says, “no matter how many times you did it, it would never be enough for you.” Maybe he is right.

I have that personality flaw. Nothing is ever enough. The grass is always greener. Guilty as charged. Maybe my feelings come from the fact hat everything up until now was expected—and now I am unsure of what the rest of my life would hold. I have always had the end to journey towards. Now, I am just on the journey searching for my end.

So the question is … what is next for me? 

4 Month Sleep Regression

While at my mommy class I have heard a lot of parents complaining about 4 month sleep issues. Many moms complain that they see a regression in the sleep habits of their children when they reach 4 months old. This regression can come during night sleep, naps, or even both (GRR!). It can be extremely frustrating for you—especially if you are trying to get something done in a timely manner. While I am certainly no expert on the subject, I have observed my own child over her fourth month and come to this conclusion about her. It is not really a sleep regression—it is an eating regression.

My girl, P, has become far more aware of her surroundings in the last month. This awareness has made her more easily distracted while eating. I cannot tell you how many times a slight movement or noise has rendered her no longer interested in her bottle. It has become WWIII at times trying to get her to eat. I know that some of you may think, “if she’s not hungry, then don’t feed her.” But that is not the issue here. She is hungry, just not starving enough to woof down that whole bottle in one sitting. This has been really hard for me because I am a Babywise mom. One of the basic principles is to ensure that your child takes full feedings every feeding. I have noticed that if P does not get her 25 -30 ounces a day in, then she will wake at night. Therefore, these distracted meal times are worrisome for me. So, if you find yourself with a baby that used to sleep like a champ, and then all of a sudden doesn’t, here are some suggestions I have for you.

1.       Keep a running list of the number of ounces (minutes at the breast) taken at each feeding in a 24 hour period. Do this for three or four days. If you notice a pattern between the number of ounces and night time sleep, then you may need to try a few of these other suggestions.

2.       Try to keep the feeding environment as quiet and as soothing as possible. There are times when I have to take P into her room and turn off the lights to get her to eat consistently for more than a few seconds at a time.

3.       Turn off the TV—I am still working on this one in my house. My Hubs prefers to watch Step By Step while giving P her 10:00 bottle. I have suggested that he not do this on more than one occasion, but seeing as how she has been eating fine at this dream feed—he is less than interested in changing his plans.

4.       Offer the bottle or breast more frequently—this was also a hard one for me. Babywise preaches that you should cut out snacking. It states that children learn very quickly to snack and will stop taking bottles in large volumes because they will realize that it is available whenever they want it. I understand that this can be a problem if you are taking baby out and want them to be predictable. However, I choose sleep in almost every situation now-a-days. Therefore, if P does not take at least 4 ounces in a feeding, then I will offer her than bottle over the next hour as many times as it takes until it is either gone or it is naptime. This is because I do not want to be up at night with a screaming baby.

5.       Find something to do with those arms and legs—if you child is like P, then those things are flying everywhere during meals. I mean, girlfriend is scratching and slapping me and herself. I have found that holding her where one of her arms is wrapped around my back while I hold the other arm with my free hand to be helpful during feeding times. I have even put her in her Halo Sleeper during a meal to keep her from kicking and slapping herself!

6.       If you are feeding around others, then leave the room. If you are in public, then go to a quieter location—or turn baby away from people. I know everyone means well, but they can be distracting to your child if they are talking to them while they are trying to eat.

I hope these things help. Like I said, there are just some things that I have found to help with P. So far, we have not had a real sleep regression at nighttime. We HAVE had some naptime issues though, but I feel that those are more tied to allowing her to go too long between naps. I find that P needs to sleep every 90 minutes in order to have a good nap. We aren’t perfect though. Anytime we leave the house, then we know she will skip at least one nap and it will mean a meltdown at some point. She becomes a ticking time bomb!

If you have any suggestions for helping with naps on the go for 4 month olds and up, then please send them my way!

I am also sure that sleep regression is partly because of teething in some little ones. Since I am not really there yet, I do not know how this will affect P. I’m sure there is a blog post in my future on that one.

Have you had to deal with sleep regression in your four or five month old? What tips or tricks do you have?

I Wonder... A little about Gender Roles and Raising girls

Last night at dinner, we got on the subject of gender roles. My stepson made a comment that women were supposed to make breakfast, lunch, and dinner for their family. At hearing this—I felt my cheeks get hot.  In my mind, I cursed him out. In real life I simply said, “well, we are a modern family.”

That comment got me thinking about a comment that my husband made a month ago. We were talking about P and what type of values, morals, and traditions we wanted to instill in her. My husband said, “Don’t you think she will have her gender roles all mixed up from watching our family?”

Let me explain our family to you. My husband was divorced, and while he was single he got used to cooking, cleaning, and laundering for himself and his son. While I was single I did the same. When we got married, I was more than willing to share in some of the domestic jobs around the home. Over time—my husband took over most of them. You should also know that my husband is a little bit of a control freak (love you honey). He likes things done his way—and can’t see why you would want to do them any differently. I will also admit that I am a bit lazy—or at least I was before I had my daughter. It didn’t take me long to notice that when I loaded the dishwasher—he rearranged it. He complained when I cooked because my dinners were too expensive. We are on a tight budget. So my mantra became, “if you think you can do it better, than by all means do it.” Slowly but surely, he took it all over. He does most of the cooking, he washes most of the clothes, and he takes out all of the trash. That is how it is. What do I do you ask? I take care of P and do P’s laundry. That is about it. There was a time before P was born that I also helped my step son with all of the homework. This was one of the reasons why my husband took over dinner. One of us cooked and the other did homework. It was a system that worked well for us. Now since having P—my husband has taken that over as well.  To be fair, he hasn’t had much homework in the last 6 weeks as school was winding down.

So—call me lazy. I’ll admit that I have it good.

I did grow up in what I consider to be a pretty traditional family. My mom did/made all the meals, laundry, and a lot of the cleaning. My dad did all the landscaping and took out the trash. The gender roles were in place as they traditionally are. Yet, I do not do these things.

I think that this is a misconception about our society today. If you have mixed gender roles in your family then your children will grow up to have mixed gender roles in their family. I do not think that this is the case necessarily. I think there are a number of factors that contribute to family dynamics. It is not all about what your mother did.

For instance—my husband grew up in a family with traditional gender roles too, yet he has taken many “female” jobs in our family. So he is contradiction to the rule as well.

I tend to think that if I raise my daughter to do laundry from a young age, then she will be more likely to do so when she gets older. If I raise her to cook with me, and to enjoy cooking, then she may be more likely to enjoy it later in life. I don’t think it is about what she does or doesn’t see me doing, but more about what she does or doesn’t do herself.

Values, beliefs, traditions, and gender roles do come from our upbringing. But I think they come from the ENTIRE PICTURE.

So, do I think that my daughter will have problems later in life because she sees that her father does a lot of the traditionally female jobs in our family? Not necessarily. I am more interested in whether or not she will know how to do these things for herself, then whether she actually does them. I want her to be independent and self-sufficient, but I do not want her to be the workhorse of the family.

I am new to this whole parenting thing… and I think a lot about how what we say or do might shape P. I want her to grow up to be a smart, caring, and strong woman. I want her to be a woman who knows her worth, and who won’t settle for anything less than what she deserves. I want her to love fiercely, be compassionate, and kind. I want her to be a good wife, and good mother to my grandchildren. And I do believe that she can be all of those things even if she does not make her husband’s breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

What do you think about gender roles and how important they are when raising our daughters?