Summer Lovin

Had me a blast! Such a blast that I did not have the time, or the desire (sorry) to write the blogs that I promised you guys at the beginning of the summer. I'm so bad at this lately. I am having a bit of a blog identity crisis in all actuality. This blog started as a way to chronicle my journey into motherhood. Now my baby is 2 1/2, and that title doesn't really fit for me anymore. I have really struggled trying to find a new identity blog-wise. I'm working on it. Maybe I should just have another baby to solve that problem. (I'm kidding, Jared!)

This summer has been full of fun. This was the first year that we really started traveling a lot. We no longer fear the long car rides with P. She is a great little car rider (I'm so totally knocking on wood right now). We even took our first trip sans kids since P was born. It was so much fun we are already planning next summer. AND I may or may not be taking my child back to Disney World for the second time in 6 months. I know, I'm totally nuts!

Summer really did just fly by. But during these two months we have managed to get a lot done. We successfully quit the crib, and transitioned P to a big girl bed. AND we are almost completely PACI FREE!!!!! AHHH! If you know P then you know she was mightily attached to both of those things, but she has done a stellar job so far.

Then there is the potty training. It is still a process with both good days and bad. P definitely knows when she has to go and can hold it, but will sometimes boycott when she is upset or angry. Number 2 in the potty is pretty much a no go as P still struggles badly with constipation.

I threw a baby shower last weekend for one of my Mommy and Me friends who is having her second little girl. It affirmed in me in so many ways how much I love to host parties and showers. I love my friends and love to celebrate the moments in their lives that are so special. I found myself being choked up the whole day (no one noticed, thank god). I don't know what that is all about other than the fact that I am a big ol' softie. I had loads of fun planning and working on the event, and look forward to hosting another one in November for another close friend. Gah--everyone around me is pregnant it seems. I really should get paid to do this. Maybe one day--sigh!

I'll be honest this summer got me thinking a lot about the future and where I want to go. I have always felt really led to be a mom, and since I gave birth to P I have felt that my family was not yet done expanding. But over the last few weeks I find myself struggling internally with the thought of having that second baby and becoming a family of four (sometimes 5). It is such a monumental decision, and it is not one to be made halfheartedly.

When I think about P being the only baby I birth, nurse, and cuddle I feel the lump in the base of my throat start to grow. Like I have said before, when you experience that type of love--you want more. I so want to do all of those tiny baby things again. I REALLY do. I don't fear sleepless nights. or even labor. None of those deter me. What does is toddlerhood--because I AM NOT a toddler person. I don't enjoy toddlerhood as much as I enjoyed the first year. I am being totally honest here. Anyone else out there with me? no? I'm just terrible all by myself out here on the island. OK then.

Don't get me wrong there are so many great things about toddlerhood. P says the craziest things, but her mood swings are unbelievable. I fear that homegirl might torture a baby brother or sister. I'm 100 percent serious about that.

I also fear that I won't be as good the second time. There are so many things I want a do over for--like breastfeeding. But I also worry that I've forgotten how to do all of those baby things. I know I would pick it back up, but part of me dreads having to go back to those things after being away for so long.

Then there is actually being pregnant. I do NOT look forward to that. I had a very easy pregnancy with P, but I worked from home. The next one I would be on my feet all day. That would be killer. I don't know if I could handle the horrible morning sickness while working.


But a decision has to be made one way or the other soon. The jury is still out on this one. I know which way I am leaning right now, though. You'll just have to stay tuned to see what (if anything) happens.

Happy Friday Friends!
Caroline

Two-nager on the loose!

BOY! Did summer vacation start off with a bang or what? The first week into our summer vacation and the transmission goes out in my car. So we spent all of our spare time car shopping last week. Whew! I am exhausted, but I love my new car! There are very few smells that I would prefer over the smell of a new car. Anyway--I am already off topic.

Summer means more time to spend with my girl. Each day is filled with both laughter and plenty of tears. Hey--being two is hard. She is testing her limits and finding out, at least a lot of the time, that she cannot do whatever she wants to do. I would love to tell her that that fact will change as she gets older--but it doesn't. At least, not really.

We are dealing the the devil right now--getting rid of the pacifier. I know, I know, she shouldn't have been allowed to keep it this long, but hear me out. After she was about 9 months old--I had regulated the paci to just the crib and the car. Then she went through a string on illnesses, and it was the only thing that comforted her. So... I let my sick child have her paci all the time while she was sick. Go ahead and put me on trial. I am totally guilty of causing this problem myself. Now, she is hooked on the dang thing. Anytime she slips and falls, or gets mad at me or J--it's the PACI she wants. So yesterday, J and I had finally had enough. We said no. So ensued a 20 minute tantrum over the darn thing. We held firm and distracted her with an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Once she was calm we explained that she can only have paci at nap and bedtime (also in the car because we are about to take a trip to Virginia, and I need my sanity). She accepted the terms willingly.

After nap she had another issue with giving the paci up. But, we successfully distracted her with going to the pool. WIN!!!

When it was time for her to go to bed--She went to bed SOOOOO much easier because she knew she was only going to get that paci once she was down in her crib and ready to go to sleep. This is another issue of ours that we are dealing with. More on this later. Then this morning she woke up, got dressed, and was ready for breakfast. Before going downstairs I said, "ok, put paci night-night." Without issue she walked it to her crib and but it in. No issue, no tantrum. Hopefully we are on the road to recovery for paci addiction. One thing at a time. Next transition, the big girl bed.

We are going to wait to introduce the big girl bed until after our vacation. I am afraid if I go ahead and transition her now, then she will not want to sleep in the Pack N Play on vacation. I am not ready to sleep in the bed with her. I still want my own bed on vacation. BUT I already have my eye on some pretty Peppa Pig bedding for her toddler bed. Any tips for the transition mommies out there? I would appreciate it!

After talking with a few of P's friend's parents--I realized that the current sleep issues we are having are normal. I have always had the child that went to bed pretty happily. She loved naps and would ask to go down for one. You could put her down and walk out without any problem. But in the last two weeks--it has become quite the process to get P to go to sleep period. It is a battle of the wills where she tries to bargain for another kiss or hug. What used to take 5 minutes was taking quadruple that. Once again, probably my fault. I knew that if I didn't give in to these requests, then it would become a 45 minute tantrum. In the end, I had to tighten it up a bit and let her whine and cry for a few minutes once I put her down. She will eventually fall asleep on her own. I know this is going to get more intense once she moves to a bed she can actually get out of.

Potty wise we are doing ok. She still never WANTS to go potty. She will almost always so no if you ask if she has to go, but as long as you take her every hour to hour and a half, then she stays accident free. Except for number 2. P struggles so mightily with constipation that number 2 is painful at times, and therefore she is afraid to go. We are working on it, but it still has a long way to go. Once again, I would welcome any tips.

Overall she is my little sour patch kid. Sour one moment and sweet the next. She loves to dance, sing, play soccer, swim, and terrorize her parents. I love her fiercely, and yet welcome my little breaks each day. As everyone keeps telling me-- I will even miss this in a few years.

Happy Thursday Y'all!

When She Drives Me To Tears

Last night was one of those nights. P had an accident with potty training at school where she literally fell off of the potty and peed all over herself. I think it scarred her a bit, and therefore she was very mean to me all afternoon.

Even though I know that she is a toddler, and that she can only control her bodily functions. I understand that she was frustrated and disappointed in herself. I knew she was taking it out on me because she is most comfortable with me. I know that she was doing it because she loves me the most. I know because I used to do it too--to my mom. But it doesn't make it any easier.

Last night we had a 45 minute battle of the wills over going to the potty before bed. P is at the point where she knows that she is not supposed to go in her panties or her pull up. I knew that she had been holding it ever since she left daycare. For whatever reason she was refusing to go, and was visibly uncomfortable. I mean, she was doing the "I have to pee dance."

So she screamed and hit and slapped in my direction. I kept my cool just gently saying, "step up on your stool." She never did. The stand off finally ended with me stripping her pants and pull up off only for her to kick it up a notch into violent rage--therefore emptying her bladder all over the floor and her pajamas. Then she screamed because she is, "Not supposed to pee on the floor."

I felt awful for her. I know that regressions happen. I just hope that I haven't scarred her against the potty for awhile. Mostly, I felt guilty because all I could think about was getting away from her. All I wanted to do was cry for me, for her, and for all the future times I know I will be her punching bag. It's one of my jobs as a mom, but it is not one that I enjoy.

So I let myself cry for her, and for me. Then I went about my night. Hoping and praying that this morning would be different. She did protest slightly at going potty for me this morning, but she did finally go after I bribed her with M&Ms (which didn't work last night).

Last night was one of those nights where being a mom is just hard. We are having a lot of those lately--rebellious toddlers are harder than I thought. It made me appreciate my mom even more--for all the times that I know I took things out on her. She lost it sometimes--but mostly she understood. I didn't deserve understanding--but I always got it. I'm learning how to be more like that--and hoping some day that I will.

Happy Hump Day!

One of the Last Baby Things

Through out my journey into this thing called Motherhood--I have chronicled the lasts of the Baby Things. It seems that we are entering into the last season of Babyhood for P. While this particular baby item was never my favorite--I still found it in me to mourn it slightly. Good thing this particular item is not one that we can get rid of in just a few days. It will take a few weeks at least. I am certainly up to the challenge--but for the first time in forever--I feel very at peace with letting this transition happen at its own pace.

Yes, my friends, P has started Potty Training!!!

OMG--I am so surprised and shocked that this time is already upon us. I was so not expecting it at all. P had not been showing any interest in the potty what-so-ever, and her doctor had told me that most children are not ready until 2 1/2 to 3 years old and some don't potty train until almost 4. (YIKES on that last one there).

THEN--they moved her up to the older 2 year old room. Which I cried over slightly because she is not older twos--she is younger twos. But I would never be one to hold her back if the evidence is saying otherwise. That would be selfish of me. So I let her move up early. The difference is that this room was full of children who were potty-trained. No biggie, right. I didn't think anything of it. Like, good luck with that, sistahs. She is a tough little nugget to crack. Like always--I doubted my girl. (I really should stop doing that. It is when she surprises me most). After day one she had successfully gone in the potty three times. On day two in the class she had kept her diaper dry all day and gone potty successfully for them each time they asked her to. They even claim that she tells them when she has to go. (I have yet to see this myself, so I'm calling BS on that one...See doubter that I am).

The next week she wore panties all week and only had 3 accidents. I had to face the music that my kid might actually be getting potty trained. So I decided that I needed to step it up at home to supplement her training. Here is what I have learned so far:

1. It is totally normal for your kid to be potty trained at school and not at home.
Who knew this was a thing. For the first few days P would not go for me at home. I was really confused so I did some research and apparently it is common. Who knew? SO I had to get creative--which is code word for bribe her with M&Ms.

2. Find an incentive that works for your kid
For P it is candy because she loves sweets. Whenever I ask if she has to go potty she always says no. Then, if I mention that she doesn't get M&Ms if she wets her pants--all of the sudden she has to go. It's magic. I only give her M&Ms for going successfully and not for trying. That is a decision you have to make.

3. You have to act like a fool when they are successful
Kids are people pleasers. Every time she successfully uses the potty--I clap my hands, scream yay, do a little dance, and give hugs and kisses. She now says proudly, "I did it!" Which is so cute.

4. Routine helps
I take her to the potty every 45 minutes to 1 hour that she is with me. This really  helps to keep her from having accidents. I also have a very specific potty routine. It is similar to her school routine. Stand on stool (we use a potty seat on our toilet with a stool). Turn around and pull down pants and undies. Sit and use potty. Stand back up on stool. Wipe. Step down. Pull up undies and pants. Flush. Then wash hands. We do it the same way every single time with no deviation. If it's rushed or different--I think it causes her anxiety and she wont go. I know--I'm crazy.

5. Decide what tools you are using and make sure you have them on each floor
we decided that we did not want to use a smaller potty since she uses a regular toilet at school. So we bought two potty seats and two stools. I like this seat and this stool. One for each floor so that we don't have to continuously move them.

6. Don't sweat the nap and night time battle yet
I'm not in any rush there. I bought a big ole box of pull ups and I plan to use them for naps and bedtime until she is better about being consistently dry each time. I like the Pampers. Plus, we are still in a crib for now. I think some people feel pressure to do this all at once. I think it is too overwhelming. So I am ok with making that a step for another time.

7. Pack an extra pair of clothes (including socks and shoes) whenever you leave the house
Accidents can and will happen. So it is important to be prepared. The shoes is the worst to me. My mom bought P 2 new pairs of sneakers that can go in the washing machine for her to wear at school where accidents seem to happen the most. It is easy to throw them in the wash at the end of the day.

So that is all I have on this subject for now. The truth is that this last baby thing is a process. It is not something that can be accomplished in 3 days (contrary to what Pinterest wants you to believe.) So while I am looking forward to some extra money in my pocket once she is fully potty trained--I'm not counting chickens anytime soon.

Happy Monday!

How I Survived Disney With My 2 Year Old

Hello Lovlies!

I know, I know, I have been gone a long time. I know. I am sucking at this whole blogging thing lately. I mostly only write when I am inspired to share something that happened in my life. Over the last 6 weeks I have been planning a disney vacation for my family. We are now back from the happiest place on earth, and I want to share with you all how I survived with my two year old.

First of all, let me say that this is not really a how to post. Since all kids are different, and there were definitely moments that I could have planned out better. More than anything this is just a play by play of what worked for my 2 year old and our family. In the hopes that it might help you.

So... here it goes. 5 things about Disney with my 2 year old

1. I learned so much about my child.

Holy bananas! She was so much better than I expected her to be in so many ways. She was also different than I expected her to be in many ways as well. Overall, it was a great trip, but she was definitely surprising overall. My child HATED taking pictures with Santa. In fact, she refused to take photos with him. So I was very fearful that she would react the same way to all of the disney characters. Boy, was I wrong. SO WRONG! This was by and large the best part of our trip. She loved the characters the most. She would wait patiently to see Mickey and Minnie. In fact she met them at every park that we went to. She met them three times. That was about the only thing that she wanted to do. I think that this is mostly due to the fact that she was prepared and comfortable with each of the characters we met. I showed her lots of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and she loved Frozen and has a Belle Lego Figurine. She knew them. They were real to her. Which was the whole reason I wanted to take her. To see that was a once in a lifetime thing.

I thought that she would love rides like Dumbo and Triceratop Spin. Again, a big WRONG! While she did pretty well on Dumbo. She was constantly saying, "I'm done." By the end of the week she was saying firmly, "NO MORE RIDES, MOMMY." Eventhough this hurt my feelings a bit--ultimately I still felt that it was a good trip overall. If I had it all to do all over again. I would show her videos off of YouTube of each ride I plan on taking her on. I have read since our trip that this fact really helps!

2. It doesn't take much to scare permanently scar a 2 year old!

Before our trip a read a lot of posts on other blogs about rides that were best for 2 year olds. I read about rides that might be scary, and I avoided those. However, my child was scared of even the tamest rides. I made the rookie mistake of thinking that a 4-d show like Mickey's Philharmagic was a good idea. (SO STUPID) Like any toddler would be ok with have water thrown in their face in the dark, and having pictures jump out in their face. I wish with everything I have that I didn't take her in that theater. I truly believe she would have been open to more rides if that hadn't been the third thing I took her to on the very first day. The rest of the trip she didn't trust me when I said, "no scary."

3. Three days with a two year old is more than enough

I signed us up for 4 days, and by the end of the third day it was clear that P could not take much more. On our last day, we only brought her in for the last two hours we were at the park. That was fine because she was free. I will tell you though, I secretly was done too after three days. I didn't want to go back for the 4th day, but I was NOT free. So I had to go. It is a lot for the littles. The stimulation they receive there is unlike any other. AND the great thing about Disney is that they will always prorate another day for you. Next time I will book 3 days, and add on a 4th if she seems like she can take it. Same price, but you aren't married to it.

4. Take the big stroller if you dare!

At first, I was just going to bring a very lightweight umbrella stroller to the park. At the eleventh hour, I changed my mind and brought both the lightweight umbrella, and our gigantic jogging stroller. Both were used, and both served great purpose, and both were not without their downsides.
Here are the pros of each:

Umbrella--lightweight, easy to take on the tram and monorail, each to maneuver.
Jogging--reclines, has canopy, has cupholders, has storage

You can see my dilemma. what ended up happening was that we usually took the jogging in the morning because it was the longer stretch at the park and brought the umbrella back in the afternoon after nap. The jogging stroller did not fit on the trams and was hard to maneuver on the monorail even. So I was mostly walking to the park from the car and back with it. Which is fine until you have walked 20,000 steps in one day. That is not an exaggeration either! I didn't want to buy a mid-weight umbrella stroller just for Disney, but I probably should have.

5. Stay in a Disney Resort if you can

We did not stay in a Disney Resort. My mom has a timeshare and traded it. So technically we paid very little to stay in Orlando. The problem was we were about 6-8 miles away from the parks. This may not seem like much, but it became a 45 minute to 1 hour ordeal every time we went or came home. I have a 2 year old who loves to nap, and who becomes a devil without sleep.  AND she will no sleep anywhere like some children. I wasn't willing to keep her there without a nap. So we spent a lot of time traveling to and from the parks. If we stayed in a Disney Resort that time would have been cut in half at least. We could have taken a bus to and from the resort (this also saves $20 a day in parking)! It's the best way to go with a napping child in my opinion. DO IT!

That is it for now. I will be posting more posts on Disney soon. Check back here. I would love to hear about your little ones and how they have done on Disney trips. I know that we are not the norm in many cases.

I have a problem!

I have had this problem for a long time now. I had it when I was a young child. It got better as I got older, and then returned once I was in college and has stayed pretty permanent in my life since then. Are you ready to hear what it is????

I am addicted to a good book!

Not like most healthy readers who read a chapter in bed every night. Or those who find comfort on a lazy Sunday afternoon in a good book. I am the reader who once I am hooked on a good book... I can do nothing else; think about northing else. It is crazy. I would rather read that book than anything else. All of my other relationships suffer. My DVR sits untouched. I just can't stand it. I will even spend planning time at work finishing up a chapter. What is wrong with me?

So this brings me to you all out there. I have just finished these two amazing books; The Luckiest Girl Alive, and The Girl On The Train. OMG They were both amazing. If you haven't read them, then you need to do it asap!

The Luckiest Girl Alive is suspenseful because it alludes to something awful that has happened, but you are not really sure what it is until the end. It is a story with a very confused narrator, and someone who I wasn't really even sure that I liked--that is, until the very end. It was SO, SO, SO, good. I highly recommend it!

The next one, The Girl On The Train, it kept me on the edge of my seat for the whole 48 hours it took me to read it. Seriously, you will be haunted by it. It centers around a disappearance of a young woman. The narrator, Rachel, is also one that it took me a long time to actually like. But in the end she realizes that the darkness that she had been lead to believe about herself wasn't true at all. I have chills right now just typing about it. You need to check it out.

Reading for me is an escape. It gives me a happiness that I cannot describe. I love to curl up on the couch with my book and a cup of coffee and just smile. It is such a way to relax.

What great books have you read lately? I need some suggestions! Seriously! I need a fix, and quick!

Incoming!

There are times in my life where I feel completely and totally prepared for a situation or event that is coming up next in my life, then there are times where I feel like I am hurtling down a dark road towards the next month and event. I always start to feel this way this time of year.

My husband is a soccer coach. So January-April are really long months for us. During these months I take on more responsibility than I normally have. I am home alone with P until at least 6 each night, and on some game nights I am alone until after she goes to bed--sometimes J doesn't get home until after I am in bed. I also take on a lot of the meals during this time because J just isn't home. AND--I don't mind. I really don't mind. There are parts of me that actually feel better during this time of the year because I feel like I am contributing more. BUT it is a hard few months.

This year I am going into soccer season with a goal in mind. We are currently planning a disney trip for the family over Spring Break. It will be a nice distraction from the home stretch of both school and soccer. I am counting down the days.

Like most things I have been scouring Pinterest and blogs for all things DisneyWorld. I AM SO EXCITED!

J on the other hand--not so trilled. the thought of lugging a 2 year old around DisneyWorld excites the opposite feelings in him that they do in me. I cannot wait to see the look on her face when she meets Mickey Mouse and Minnie. I think she will love the rides and shows. I am oh-so-trilled to do this for me (uh, I mean her). It was a freudian slip--I promise.

By the time we get to spring break I am so going to deserve to be in the happiest place on earth. I want it to be perfect--so if you have advice for how to navigate Disney with a 2 year old--please send it my way. I definitely have Mickey information overload.

What gets you through the rough months?