The 10 Things I Want To Teach My Daughter

As P starts to get older, I worry incessantly about teaching her the important things. You know, those things that I didn't get right. The things that I didn't understand as a young girl, teen, and young woman. Those vital ideas about what it is to be a woman, mother, wife, daughter. Those things that will make her character stronger and richer. The things that will make her better than her mom was at that age. I think about it a lot. I obsess over it. If you haven't figured out that I have an obsessive personality, then you have not been reading enough of my posts and you need to go back and refresh yourself. I get it honestly from my dad, and I don't necessarily think it is a bad thing to have. It is just a side effect of loving something or someone so much that you want to do it perfectly. All. The. Time.

Here are the things that I have been thinking about so far:

1. There is nothing that will make you more appealing to a REAL MAN than your mind.

The right kind of man will grow tired of your curves and various visual assets, and when he does it is your personality and your intellectual connection with will keep him with you. Not that you need a man to be happy. In order to form a lasting relationship with a man that will grow into a successful marriage and life together--you are going to need to be able to have more than a physical attraction. Therefore, you should not only focus on the materialistic side of things--you should put the most pride and emphasis on your education. It will take you a lot further in life.

2. You cannot rely on anyone else to make you happy--that comes from within.

When I was young--I bought into the whole fairytale. One day, Prince Charming will come and take me away from all of my worries. He would fulfill me and make me whole. That is a bunch of bull, baby girl. The only person that can fulfill you and your life is you. You have to be happy with who you are and what you have done in your life. If you aren't, then you will be unhappy no matter what. Another person cannot make you better. You have to rely on yourself for that. So, my wish for you is that you live your life with these words in mind. You live it with the fear of regrets, and try to avoid them at all costs.

3. There is nothing that you could ever do that would make me not love you.

No matter what happens. No matter how horrible the thing is that you have done. Nothing will make me stop loving you. Nothing. There is not one single thing that I can ever think of that you could do that would warrant me not loving you. I may be disappointed in you, but I will never stop loving you. With that being said--you can always come to me. Never be afraid to talk to me. I can't help you if you do not tell me what you are struggling with. I promise to try not to yell at you. Instead, I will try to calmly figure it out together. We are a team, forever.

4. You can be whatever you want to be--if you work really hard at it

I am not going to tell you that you can do anything just by wishing for it hard enough. That is not how you make good things come your way. You have to work hard. If you put in the time and work for what you want--then you will get where you want to be. If you want a good grade on a test, then you need to study. If you want to play an instrument, then you practice. If you want to run a marathon, you run daily. Nothing that is worth having will come for free. You have to put in the work. Do not expect to show up late to the game, and be the starting quarterback.

5. Don't be in a big hurry to grow up

It's true that being a grown up looks fun. You may look and me, and think that you can't wait to be your own boss, and be able to do whatever you want to do. Don't fall for that. There is no such thing. You can never do whatever you want to do. Being a grown up is much harder, and a lot less fun than being a kid. I promise. Savor your time to be carefree and to let me worry about all the rest. That is my job. Your turn will come soon enough.

6. Recognize how valuable you are

There will come a time that you will meet a boy. You may like him a lot. He may like you a lot. You may fall in love or think that you are in love. Promise me that you will recognize how valuable you are. Know that you are special, and that you deserve to be treated a certain way. He should open the door for you. He should speak kindly to you and about you to others. If he does not treat you the way your father treats me, then he is not the one for you. I warn you that there may be a boy or two who will tell you they love you when they don't. They may try to get you to give yourself to them when you are not ready. They may try to make you feel badly about yourself so that they can get what they want from you. Remember my words--you are worth waiting for. Know how much you are worth, and do not settle for anyone who cannot wait for you.

7. Pick the right kind of friends

As you get older it will become harder to find true friends. There will be some people in your life that will be nice to your face, but talk badly about you behind your back. These people are not worth your time. A true friend will be honest with you. They will tell you when you are being an idiot. They will support you through your struggles, and celebrate with you in your triumphs. They will be like sisters to you. The right friends will not push you to do things that make you uncomfortable. They will dance with you, cry with you, and love with you. Don't be afraid to cut someone loose who does not give back the friendship that you have given to them. You will have to put work into your friendships. You will have to do things that you do not really want to do to support a friend. You do these things because you will need their support too one day. Friends are second only to family. You need them, and they need you.

8. Family comes first

I understand that as you get older you will want to hang around your friends more than your family. It is natural. I just want you to remember than no one will ever love you the way that your daddy and I do. No one will support you the way that we do. So even if we are mean, and you think that you hate us--make time for us. Love us. Because one day you will lose us, and you will be willing to give up anything for just one more day with us. It will be too late. On those days you will need lots of memories of our time together to ease your pain. Make sure you have them.

9. Love your siblings

As I write this, you have one sibling, Dylan. My hope is that you will have one more. Regardless, treasure your brother. He can teach you a lot. He loves you unconditionally. Make time for him. Love him. If you cannot talk to us, then talk to him. He will help you. He will not judge you. If you have a little brother or sister one day. Be there for them. Teach them how to do things. Play with them. They are a gift for you. You do not have to grow up alone. You get to share your childhood with them as a playmate. That is very special, and not everyone gets to do that. I didn't, and I wish I had. When dad and I are gone--you will be happy that you have them.

10. Understand that everything I did, I did because I love you

There will be times when you don't like me. When you are angry that I wouldn't let you get your belly button pierced, or that I wouldn't let you go to a co-ed sleepover. In these times I hope you will know the reason that I am saying no. It is because I love you, and I want to prevent heartache in your life. I don't want you to regret any choices that I could have prevented. Yes, I understand that sometimes you will need to make your own mistakes, but please forgive me. Forgive me for wanting to keep you my little girl for a little while longer. Forgive me for not allowing you to figure it out for yourself at times. I do it because I have been there--I have experienced certain things, and I don't wish that for my baby girl. You are far too precious for me to let you learn the hard way with some things. Plus, if some little boy every hurt you--I would hate to have to kill him. Forgive me--for loving you too much. For holding you too close. Understand that I do it because I have been there, and it is not the road you want to go down. I promise

What types of things do you want to teach your daughter?

Happy 9 Months P!

How can it be? Another month has come and gone. My precious P is 9 months old. She has now spent just as long on the outside as she did on the inside. That is crazy to me. Seems like just yesterday I was complaining about how badly it hurt when P moved around inside my belly. I find myself becoming more and more nostalgic as the days pass by.

Today P and I went to our Mommy and Me group of the first time in a few months. It became hard to go with my pumping schedule, work schedule, and P's nap schedule. It was a bit of a culture shock for me as P has gone from being one of the youngest babies in the group to being the oldest one there today. Looking at all of those tiny babies made by ovaries hurt. I miss those days so badly. I'd give anything to stop the time and keep my little girl little. Alas, she is getting older and growing and changing dramatically with each coming month.

In P's 9th month of life she has cut two teeth, learned to sit up by herself, and started crawling. It was quite a change for one month. We went from a mostly stationary baby to a fully mobile almost toddler. Life has once again gotten a little more complicated for me as I am constantly having to move her away from the various dangers around the house. Her favorite thing to do is play with my breast pump and it's cords.

P has definitely developed an attachment to her mother and father in the last month. She has proven time and time again that she does not like strangers getting too close and she definitely doesn't want them touching her!

In the last few weeks she has decided that she no longer likes baths. This has always been a go to for us when she gets cranky near bedtime. We are hoping that it is short lived and that she will once again love to splash around.

P still loves the animals. Things have gotten a little bit better between P and Callie. Callie no longer growls when P comes near, and she will even let P pet her (with my supervision, of course). P really loves our cat, and it is mutual. The cat loves to lay on the floor near P while she crawls around. P will squeak and squeal as the cat lets her pull her tail and pull out clumps of her fur. She even lets P bite her ear. P will point and laugh at both animals, but calls them both "goggy." I think Callie's new found love of the cat comes from the fact that P likes to share her food with her--often sneaking her puffs and whatever other finger foods I put on her tray.

P has really taken to drinking out of her straw sippy cups. She has one for milk and one for water. She will drink both interchangeably. Lately, she would rather drink her milk this way than out of a bottle. She is adorable crawling around while holding on to the straw and dragging the cup with her. She will take big gulps and then make an ahh sound. I wonder where she picked that up?

At P's 9 month appointment she weighed in at a whopping 22 pounds and 3 ounces, and she measured an impressive 30 inches tall. The new doctor (we were very unhappy with her previous doc, so we switched) stayed with me for 30 minutes addressing all of my concerns about P's eating habits. As you may remember, P stopped wanting bottles almost completely. I have been struggling with this mightily, and almost to the point of insanity. Lately, it has gotten even worse. She will only take 1 real bottle a day and it is in her sleep. All of her other milk comes mixed into her solid foods and in her sippy cup (she probably takes 1 1/2 ounces a day in her cup). Her doc assures me that she is not starving. I mean, homegirl is quite hefty! She told me to keep doing what I am doing, and that it will all be ok. It was nice to get some validation.

We have also been struggling with night sleep for a few months. It has gotten better than it was at 6 months, but P was still waking once a night most nights. The doctor assured me that P is not really hungry, and does not really need the food. She is crying and waking out of habit and to get us to help settle her back down. This confirmed what I already knew in my heart--that we had conditioned her to wake at night to eat when she doesn't need to. We were so concerned about her milk intake that we got lazy with our sleep training. I am happy to report that we are back on the wagon. We moved up P's bedtime at our doc's suggestion. She goes to bed at 7 pm, and we do not got back in until 7 am. Unless, or course, there is real reason to. First night she cried for 30 to 40 minutes. Last night--she went right out with no problems.

Overall, this past month has been a whirlwind. P has changed some much we can barely recognize her from her 8 month self.

Happy 9 month birthday sweet Piper Eloise. I hope that one day you will look back on these blog posts as if they are one big love letter to you. You have made me a better person, a more complete person, and I love you all the more for that. In my eyes, you will always be perfect in every way--even when you are screaming. You are definitely wild, but I wouldn't expect anything else. I love watching you explore life. How ever much time we have together--it will never be enough.

Love,
Mommy

Working From Home

I get a lot of questions about my job. Most people are just curious about how teaching high school online really works. I was pretty intrigued when I first started to consider doing it for a living as well. The other half that comment on my job--do so in a typical southern fashion. They are nice nasty. Nice nasty is when you say something condescending in a really nice way. I truly believe that half of the people that do this do not even realize that they are being condescending. Here are the most common comments that I get about my job:

1. "I could never do that, I wouldn't have enough to do. I'd be so bored."
2. "I would love to be like you and not have to have a real job."
3. "It must be nice to get paid to say at home with your daughter."
4. "I bet your husband loves that you are home and can do all of the (insert house chore here)."

While some of these things are more insulting in their context than others. You get the general idea of the underlying insult there. Yes, someone has actually said each and every one of the above things to me.

Let me assure you that I do like my job. I love teaching, and I am immensely grateful that I have a job that allows me to do what I love while also being able to be home with my daughter. It is the best of both worlds for me. However, there are times that I think it would be easier to teach in a traditional school. No, don't burn me at the stake just yet. I believe that my job is much harder--and much more demanding than the average teacher. Yes--I said it.

Here is why--while you are all in your classrooms teaching your students. You are focused mostly on them. Of course a mother is always thinking about how her child is, but mostly you are focused on the job at hand. You are able to put your professional hat on, and shove that mommy hat in your desk drawer. I, I am wearing both of mine every single day...all day long. Don't get me wrong. That is what I asked for and what I want to do. When I teach my class, P is usually asleep upstairs. I say usually because she is unpredictable at times. There are a lot of times that I am doing multiple things at once. I may be in a meeting, feeding P solids, and pumping all at the same time. So--if you think that I don't have enough to do, then I would like to see you do it for a week. A whole week, I dare you.

A real job...seriously? We have got to stop the mommy bashing in this culture. I have found the worst mommy bashers...are moms themselves. They say things like this because they are jealous--or because they don't understand why anyone would want to do it differently than they did it with their kids. I believe that just being a mom at home with your child or children is a REAL, honest to god, job. Even if you can't give it the "job" label--can we at least agree that it is work? Hard work at that.

 I wish that I could be a stay at home mom, but I am not. I am a work from home mom. The two things are similar in few ways and different in many others. I sacrifice a lot of quality time with my daughter because I am working. Just like those who work outside of the home. Yeah, she is sitting right next me me, but it is not quality time. I will admit that there are days,--when I am really busy--that I make it to lunch and realize that haven't spoken one word to her all day. I worry about her development. Would she be better off in a daycare where they would interact with her better? It all comes down to the idea of quality versus quantity. We spend a lot of time together, but I do sometimes feel that I have really spent it with my computer screen.

I don't get paid to stay at home with my daughter. I get paid to do a job. It just so happens that I get to be at home where my daughter is while doing it. However, it is like every other job. If my daughter interrupts my work to a point where I can not get the job done--I will be reprimanded. While my job is full of moms like me--we are all expected to perform as if we were distraction free. They are not in the business of paying women to stay at home with their kids. If anyone knows of such a job where this is really the case, then let me know. Because I would be early every day for that job. I would work it on weekends, holidays, whenever...oh wait--I already do. It's called motherhood.

My husband would laugh at the idea that because I work from home it somehow means that I keep the house clean. I wish that I was that gifted at multi-tasking. Even if I had the time--I still wouldn't clean. The truth is that any time I do have a break from working--I am not going to spend it cleaning a toilet--sorry. I am spending it looking into those little green eyes. Most days I don't have time for chores, and when I do--I don't do them. When I have free time and P is napping--the last thing I want to do is laundry. I want to get some alone time. Some me time--where I sit and watch Real Housewives of (insert various options here, I watch them all).

So, I am sorry to dispell your myths and preconceived notions about work from home moms. We certainly don't spend our days watching The Price is Right or twiddling our thumbs. We are sometimes doing more than one job at a time. And you know what--I am not complaining. I am so grateful that I do this each and every day. It allows me to bring in a living while fulfilling a dream I have always had to stay at home with my children. On a day like today, where I have taken the day off to spend QUALITY time with my daughter. I will spend it giggling, chasing, tickling, kissing, rocking, reading, singing, and loving that little girl to pieces--be jealous about that. Because you totally should be!

Cheers Ladies!

Friday Favs

Ok, I've bought into the Friday Favorites movement. I know you are all rejoicing out there in cyberspace. Yay!

The point of these posts is to share with all of you the things that I am currently, in this moment loving/wanting. In the hopes that you might see something you didn't know about that might improve your life. So...here it goes!

1. The Merry Mistletoe Candle from Bath and Body Works.
 I have two of these from two Christmases ago, and they are THE BOMB. Seriously. I love curling up on the couch with a hot cup of coffee and the smell of these suckers burning on the coffee table. It brings me back to such great childhood memories. Christmas was a very special time for my whole family. My grandmother LOVED Christmas, and she always managed to make it so special for all of us. Once she died, it was never the same. This candle reminds me of happier times with her. I heard that they were not one of BBW's candles last Christmas. Say it isn't so? They seriously need to bring this one back. It is my very favorite. Until then, I will savor the ones that I have as long as possible.

2. Leopard Print Infinity Scarf!
My mom bought me one of these from Old Navy because I had been salivating over it on Pinterest since last fall. I am a big scarf person in the winter and fall months. I love a good scarf with a graphic tee and thick industrial leggings. Ahh--that's my jam right there!

3. A good Crock Pot.
 I know, this is silly for most of you. BUT, I love a good crock pot. This is the time of year of chilli during the Falcon's games. I adore a big bowl of chilli with shredded cheddar cheese and Fritos crumbled up on top. That is a little bowl full of heaven to me! Sadly, My husband broke the stoneware from the inside of our crock pot a year ago, and we haven't replaced it yet. I am demanding a new one soon! I love throwing all the ingredients in it in the morning, and smelling the goodness all day long. It makes the meal that much more satisfying to me.

4. Zulily
If you don't know about Zulily, then shame on you! This is this amazing site that gets you discounts on goodies for you, your husband, and your kids. I especially like their baby and kids stuff. I got P's baby carrier from Zulily for 60% off! They have the cutest stuff  from baby food pouches to Michael Kors watches. You just have to figure out if its the best deal for you. A lot of times it is!

5. A good graphic tee
Graphic tees are so in right now. They are everywhere on my Pinterest page. One of my best friends is a persoanl stylist and she has been talking about them all the time in her blog, so I know I am on the right track here. I want this one! It combines two of my favorite things, cute shirts and coffee--we are currently out of coffee at the moment, so this one spoke to me.

Have an Amazing weekend my Friends! This weekend is the first weekend in awhile I do not have a makeup job. I look forward to spending some quality time with J, P, the DAWGS, and the Falcons. I love Football.

'Til next week!
Caroline

P's New Clothes

I have been getting questions about how I dress P. It's very flattering, really. You guys like the way that I dress my daughter, and I have to agree with you. I think P is much better dressed at this stage in her life that her momma is. That is mostly because baby clothes are cheap! AND P has 2 grandmothers that love to buy her the cutest outfits. I usually shop at Carters and Target for her clothes.

This past week I was killing time, and decided to stop in Old Navy. Normally I don't like their stuff, but HOLY CUTENESS!!! Their toddler girl clothes are AHH-MAZING. Yes, I did say toddler girls clothes. My big chunky monkey is wearing 12-18  month clothes at almost 9  months old. Don't rub it in. I am choosing to embrace it at the moment because of all the cute-ness it opens up for us.

We seriously destroyed the store, and I am in love with P's new fall wardrobe. I even got her and I a matching outfit. O-M-G! I can hardly contain my excitement.

Plus, it is relatively inexpensive. I am not one to spend $20 on a onesie and pants. It was all way cheaper than that!

I tend to also try to get pieces that can be mixed and matched. I don't want to get something that will only look good when it is in it's own outfit. I like versatility in her wardrobe--especially when she might throw up all over her shirt at any given moment. As she grows I try to have a pair of jeggings in every size, and leggings in black and hot pink. This time I got jeggings in both regular jean and black jean. Then, I always go for at least one patterned pant. I love the leopard ones above! Then I find tops that will mix and match with all of the bottoms that I have. Old Navy had a ton of graphic Ts and onesies that would match items I already had for P in 12 months.

I also wanted to get her some outerwear and footwear. I found the cutest little hats that are lined with fleece to keep her little head warm. I couldn't resist these boots with the fringe! AND I had to get this red raincoat for her!

I am still trying to decide if she needs this fur vest to go with her leopard outfit pictured above! It would totally be impractical and would serve no real purpose, but come on, it's adorable.

Where do you find your little one's clothes?

Happy Birthday Mom!

Since I became a Mom I have found a whole new appreciation for my own mother. Sunday was my mom's birthday. P and I were so lucky that she chose to spend her special day with us. We went shopping and just hung out. It was a great day!

Raising a daughter is not an easy job. I sit at the beginning of this marathon called motherhood looking towards the milestones that face me in the future with bewilderment. How did she do it? Because I am not so sure that I can do the same job.

With this job comes a whole boat load of worries. Will I pass on the same values, morals, ideals that my mother instilled in me? Will I be able to provide the same happy memories and traditions? Will it all be enough? What about manners,the importance of family and friendships? Will I be able to do it the way that I want to do it?

The answer to that question is on going. But the fear is that life will get in the way, and one day I will wake up with a 17 year old and hope that I did an ok job. The thought is terrifying for me. Seriously...I have nightmares about it.

I will be honest--I don't think my mom had it all together a lot of the time. She is a little scatterbrained. She is forgetful. Despite that I think that I am a pretty well-rounded product. I have good morals, values, memories, traditions, and I truly understand how important my family and friends are. It is this fact that gives me hope. Although I may feel like I have no clue what I am doing--it doesn't necessarily mean that I am not doing a good job.

It is such a monumental job--raising a child. It's not easy, but it is very rewarding. While we are growing up we do not realize the amount of work, sweat, tears, and frustration that goes into raising us. Well, I truly understand it now.

Thank you mom for making my first word "thank you" and for insisting that manners were important. Thank you for forcing me to be active as a child, for putting an emphasis on the arts and music, and for stressing the importance of education and literacy. Thank for making me go to church and for teaching me about religion. Thank you for not lecturing (too much) about the fact that I choose not to practice that religion today. Thank you for all the social science fair projects, spelling test study sessions, nights spent crying over math homework, and english papers that you helped me with. Thank you for having me around your friends growing up, and not just sticking me with a babysitter all of the time. I learned a lot by having all of those adult influences in my life. I hope that P will have a similar experience.

If I could go back and raise myself--I wouldn't change a thing. You did a great job, mom. I hope that I can follow your example. We love you!

CRAWLING

That is right, P is CRAWLING!

I never thought that she would crawl--well, because I never did. She seemed to be taking after the lazy momma. So, I just assumed that my little stationary girl would remain so.

She gave me a big F you this weekend and crawled across the room. Of course, I wasn't there. I was doing make up in the city and was so depressed that I missed it. When I got back to her and saw her crawl myself for the first time--my eyes welled up with tears.

You see, I have been very worried about P's development. I have been measuring her up against the other babies born around her in my mommy group. The ones that are slightly older and have been crawling for awhile now.

Even though, everyone assured me that she would crawl when she was ready, that some babies never crawl, etc. I still worried deep down inside. And...of course I worried loudly to my husband. I made him worry about it too. What a relief!

Now it is on to baby proofing the house and getting ready for my mobile baby girl. I am sure that I will soon miss these pre-crawling days.

P is no longer a baby baby. She is a big baby. She is on her way to being a toddler. OH. MY. HEART.

Do any of you have a bitter sweet relationship with these baby firsts? Is it just me?