Fighting the Darkness

In this post I will attempt to write coherently about the feelings that I have been having the last couple of weeks. This is not an easy topic, but I feel that there may be some other moms out there that are having these same feelings and who might benefit from reading my words. So here it is…

One thing that I never worried about when I was pregnant was post-partum depression. I was so in love with the baby inside my tummy and with the idea of being her mommy that I never considered for a second that I would have glimpses of depression. Since I gave birth and have been around a lot of other moms with young children, I have learned that depression can come in all shapes and sizes. It can be mild or full blown. It can be constant, or it can be recurring. However it comes, I have found that we all have moments where we fight the darkness. I truly believe that. I don’t consider the things I experience to be true depression, but I do see how that line starts to blur for some mommies. I consider depression to be a serious illness. I do not claim to understand it fully—or that I am experiencing it.

I planned carefully for P. I was strong in my philosophies. When she was born I controlled every second of her day into a finely tuned routine. She was a great baby. She slept when she was supposed to, and she ate when she was supposed to. THEN—she started to change. The new P doesn’t really eat…ANYTHING. She went from taking 30 ounces in 12 hours and sleeping through the night to taking 13-15 ounces and then waking a few times during the night. Some nights she eats and some she just screams. It was around this time that I felt the darkness creep in.

It was brought on by feelings of inadequacy. I felt and continue to feel  like a failure because I couldn’t figure out how to make her happy. I have tried everything and she just continues to take less and less milk. Her solid intake has increased but she still won’t take any veggies unless they are mixed with a lot of fruit. Her sleep became unpredictable and she became more and more demanding during the day.

Couple all of thee above with starting back to work and my husband going back to work and you have a strong cocktail for that darkness I am referring to. What I mean by darkness is this overwhelmed feeling and the feeling that I cannot control my mood or emotions. I feel overwhelmed a lot now. I get frustrated quickly. I am easily irritated and I get angry a lot. I don’t want to go out—take a shower—or take care of myself at times. I don’t want to do –anything, except sleep. I love to sleep. I have heard that this is a symptom of depression, however it is also a symptom of being a mother of a child under one.

I cry a lot more now than I did in the first days and weeks after P was born. When P slaps the spoon out of my hand for the millionth time sending pears flying—I feel the frustration build. Sometimes I have to walk away—I have to scream in the bathroom or into a pillow. I don’t know why but it just frustrates me so much. I have never been quick to anger. I have always been able to weather the storm calmly and rationally.

Feeling like you cannot control your moods or emotions is no laughing matter. It too can make you feel like a failure. You just feel out of whack and blah all the time.

Then there are the moments of clarity. When P is in a really good mood and she is giggling incessantly—I think about how lucky I am to have her. How I am her whole world and I have the chance to mold her into this really awesome person. Then I feel the happiness well up in my eyes. Highs and lows from one minute to the next. That is what motherhood has become for me—and for a lot of you I’d be willing to bet.

So what I want to say to myself and to all of you who have these same feelings is that you are not alone. You are not a bad mom for needing to scream in the shower or into a pillow. It does not mean that you love your child any less. It is just a left over side effect of your hormones or sleep deprivation. It is not what defines you.

What does define you are those amazing moments when you are the one that puts a smile on your baby’s face. When you make her/him giggle like crazy. When you walk into a room and they light up. That means you are doing something right. That little human—you made them. You will continue to make them—mold them—create them into a compassionate person. You deserve credit for that. It is not an easy job, and you are allowed to have a few blips and bumps along the way. We have to forgive ourselves for not being perfect.

I am learning to let go of the restlessness that I am feeling. I am learning to cut myself some slack, and to not measure myself up against all the other moms around me who seem to have it all together. I choose to believe that they lock themselves in the bathroom, eat cookie dough for breakfast, don’t shower for three days, etc.  

So, in conclusion, on days like today—when P has taken 5 ounces and a half a cup of yogurt by 12:00, and I pretty much know it will be another day of fighting for every ounce and then up every two hours at night—I am going to drink a big cup of hot coffee and eat my cookie dough with a smile knowing that somewhere out there, you are too! Cheers ladies!

The 10 Baby Items You Probably Aren’t Using That Can Save Your Life (newborn edition)

When I was pregnant, I was bombarded with everyone’s recommendations of items that made their lives a while lot easier with a newborn. Many of them my hubs scoffed at. He said over and over, “it’s a waste of money. You will use in only a handful of times.” Some things he was rights about, but many of the things on this list were essential to helping me keep my sanity the first couple of weeks with baby P.

1.       Sound Machine

a.       I SWEAR by my sound machine and I know a whole boat load of Momma’s that do too. When we forget to turn it on—or take it with us—sleep is a no go. I prefer one that plugs in and has batteries for travel. I also got one that does not only work on a timer so that it plays all the time. P cannot and will not sleep soundly without it.

b.      I also found that it was extremely helpful in the first few days with helping P notice the difference between night and day. During the night time the sound machine stayed on all the time. When she woke at night to eat—I kept it on so that she would get the idea that that sound meant sleep. I am a huge believer and fan in the sound machine!

2.       Zip up sleepers

a.       Yeah the button ones are cute and the zipper ones are fewer and harder to find—BUT do yourself a favor and skip the button sleepers. They just aren’t practical at 2 am in the dark with a screaming newborn. JUST—trust me on this one.

3.       The swing

a.       I have heard a lot of mommy’s say that the swing is unnecessary. In my house, with my baby—it was a GODSEND. P napped a lot in the swing the first four months of her life. Our swing is pretty heavy duty and I LOVE IT! It can go side to side or front to back—and also vibrates. I also was insistent that we got one that plugged into the wall and didn’t just run on batteries. When home girl went postal—it was the only thing that would calm her down! Don’t skip it!

4.       A baby carrier

a.       In the first few weeks home from the hospital I was insistent that P get some skin to skin time, however I still needed to be able to walk around. Hence—the moby wrap. I loved this for when she was really small. I would wrap her up and she would sleep her whole two hour nap strapped to me. I was able to make breakfast, eat, and watch TV with her. I miss those days immensely now.

b.      Now that she is bigger I have switched to a sturdier baby carrier that is an Ergo knock off. I use it when we go somewhere and I don’t want to take the stroller. I used it a lot on our beach trip this summer to carry her to and from the beach. I have also taken my dog for a walk with her strapped in it. She loves it!

5.       The Belly Bandit

a.       It’s this great contraption that helps your uterus go back to its normal size faster while at the same time helping to shrink your waist and add extra support to those stretch out tummy muscles. I used mine for about a month after P was born and my stomach looked flatter than before I got pregnant. I also found that it really helped to add support to my core muscles in those first few days when they were still sore from pushing. I wore it night and day. I felt that it was a definite confidence booster for sure!

6.       The halo sleeper

a.       This thing in AMAZING. The first time I put P in one—she slept through the night. It is this straight jacket looking thing that keeps her swaddled despite her Houdini efforts. I used swaddle blankets for a few weeks, but IF I ever have another—they will go in one of these first thing!

7.       The crib

a.       A lot of parents co sleep in the first few weeks of their baby’s life. While, I believe that this is a personal choice and it is totally up to the family—I personally think that it leads to less sleep for everyone involved.

b.      I have heard that many breastfeeding mothers co-sleep because it is just easier in the middle of the night when you are exhausted. You just lift up your shirt and BAM. While, that is nice—I just couldn’t do it. I never slept a wink when P was in the bed with me. I was constantly worried that I would roll over on her, that she was too hot—you name it. So, P slept in her bed in her room from day one. AND—I still breastfed. Yeah I had to walk across the hall in the middle of the night, but it was fine. When I was in bed I slept well and I didn’t have to go through a rough transition with P and the crib later.

8.       A musical mobile

a.       I didn’t have a mobile the first couple of weeks of P’s life, but I wished for one a lot. It would have been helpful when first teaching her to fall asleep on her own. Now, I put her in bad and crank that sucker up and she knows it’s another symbol of sleep. She loves the song that it plays and when she is away from home I hum it to get her to calm down. It works! Don’t skip this gem.

9.       The Boppy

a.       Many breastfeeding moms say it’s not necessary, and while they are probably right—I LOVED my boppy pillow. I used it when P was nursing. I used it to prop her up when she was little. She used it for tummy time, and now I place it behind her for piece of mind when she is sitting up and playing. Eventhough, she is a great sitter—I worry that she will fall back hard. So I always put it slightly behind her for a safety net. It is also great when travelling as a travel pillow for you. I used mine to sleep in the car on the way to the beach. I will probably keep it for that purpose even when P no longer uses it.

10.   A Mommy Support Group

a.       This is number one underrated thing that you NEED as a mom. You NEED other women going through the same things that you are. You need someone who is going to make you feel better about the fact that you cried in the shower or screamed into a pillow. You need someone who is going to put your mind at ease. Someone that can say, “I’ve been there.” No one else will be able to do that for you. Do yourself a favor and find one of these groups. They are the best thing that you can do for your mental health.

What things could you not live without?

Happy 7 Months P!

Yet another month has come and gone. So many things with P have changed this past month.

August is a nightmare month in our household as both J and I start backt o work. The new school year always brings a ton of stress. Couple that with a baby that just wont eat or sleep anymore and you have a genuine powderkeg of emotions.

I have cried more this month than all other months of P’s life combined. Some tears were happy, some sad, but most were frustrated. Why did no one tell me that being a mom only gets harder in the first year? I found P A LOT more manageable when she was a newborn!

I will be the first to say that this job is the best job in the word, but at the same time the most challenging. Things are constantly changing. What worked one day will not work the next. You are constantly adapting your methods to fit your child’s needs. You questions and second guess how your every action will shape and form the way that she will be. When she cries because I took her toy that she just dropped on the nasty floor away, then I hastily wash it and hand it back because I can’t listen to it anymore—I worry that she will become a spoiled brat. When I loose me cool and raise my voice begging her to please be quiet-I worry that that voice will be the one that becomes her inner voice. One that is impatient and constantly criticizing.

I am learning to cut myself some slack and be patient with myself as much as I am with P. It is ok to lose it every once in awhile. It is ok to put her in the crib where she is safe and walk away because you just need to go put your head in a pillow and scream. It’s ok to cry in the shower. I don’t know a single mom that hasn’t done these things. And if you haven’t—I don’t want to know about it.

It’s like letting go of the fairytale ideal of motherhood just like you learn to let go of the idea of prince charming and happily ever after. Things like perfect marriages that don’t take work and perfect children that never pitch a fit—they are myths. Striving for perfection and being restless with your life is exhausting. I struggle with it every day. Constantly  Wrestling with that picture in my head and with the vision from my childhood dreams. I am learning to let go, and to live in the here and now.

Now—on to the fun stuff. P has finally started consistently rolling over. She actually was sitting up independently before she was rolling over. Most babies do not do that. This tells me that she will do things on her own stubborn time frame. She may look like her daddy—but she is all mommy when it comes to her personality.  I love this new independence that she has gained. Now--I dump out her toys in a big pile on the floor and she will go to town for a whole hour. She just sits there and plays while I work. It has been awesome for me these  few weeks of the school year.

She has started to go from a sitting position to falling forward onto her stomach—eventually I know that she will fall onto all fours and start taking on the world in crawling motion. Then I will be in trouble. Working will become a challenge and she will start to spend more time in baby jai, hmm I mean the pack-n-play.

P has gained an all new love for music. She will smile, laugh, and dance when you put the wiggles on. It is quite entertaining for J and I as well. I hope that this love of music continues to grow with her. Maybe she will have a good singing voice, or want to play an instrument. I would be so proud!

We have finally kicked the swaddle! THANK GOD! I thought I was going to be swaddling her until she was five at the rate we were going. But—once the rolling started happening in the crib. I stopped the swaddling out of fear, and P’s sleeping habits have not suffered.

Speaking of sleep, we are doing a little bit better in that department. If you remember, from months 2-6, P slept through the night. Then—she started waking up several times a night. Sometimes up to 4 or 5 times. We were really struggling for about a month and a half. It seems to have leveled out recently. She is still not sleeping through the night every night, but she is doing it more consistently. BTW—I consider 6 hours straight sleeping through the night. She usually goes down between 8-9, Wakes to eat somewhere between 1 and 3, then sleeps until I wake her at 7. I consider that a success compared to recent weeks.

Solids foods have gotten a lot better as well. It was like a switch went off and she suddenly started eating. It took about 4 weeks to really get her in a good rhythm. She will eat about 4 containers of solids a day. I tried making my own food—but my little diva likes Gerber best. She will not eat any straight veggies, and prefers fruits most. She will, however, eat blends fairly well. Her favorite foods are Bananas (and any blend with bananas), pears, Pears with Zuchini and Corn, Peaches, Peaches with apple and Squash, and Peach and pear whole milk yogurt. I just bought a banana orange blend as well as a spinach raspberry greek yogurt blend that I have excited about trying.

She has also had a few finger foods here and there. I am still too scared to really give her much. She has had tomato, cheese, peas, and green beans. I am going to amp this up soon.

As far as milk goes—it is becoming a daily struggle to get her to drink it. The ounce total just keeps dropping. I have had to cut pumpings because there is no room for all of the excess. As a result—I have a nasty case of mastitis at the moment. It is frustrating to say the least. I would not be concerned if she were sleeping better and eating more protein and dairy through solids. ALAS, she would not eat the chicken I have offered.

Overall, P is a happy baby girl. She is clearly in love with life, and we are in love with her. I started my Pinterest board for her first birthday yesterday and felt the pang of sadness. I can’t believe it is time to start thinking about such things. I am coming to grips with the whole only child thing, but I still feel sad about it a lot.

Happy 7 Month Birthday baby P! Mommy and Daddy love you more and mostest. The words to express that love are non-existent. We look forward to the new changes this month will bring us.

Love,

Mommy

When I am not JUST P's Mommy

Since I started this blog it has been pretty exclusively about my journey into motherhood with baby P. However, I do want to delve into my favorite hobby and part-time job—being a makeup artist.

I did not go to cosmetology school—and I am constantly looking to learn more, but I feel that I have made a good little niche for myself in the makeup world. I don’t have a booming business, but this is partly by design. I am happy with just a job or two a weekend so that I can focus mostly on my most important job—being P’s mommy.

I think that it is VITALLY important for a mom to have a creative outlet. Creativity keeps you in touch with your spirit. It keeps you sane when times are hard. It keeps you from becoming JUST someone’s mom. I have found with these weekly outings that I get time to just be Caroline. Not J’s wife and not P’s mommy. Just me. It’s refreshing and it keeps me happy.

I work a lot with one of my best friends in the whole world, Sarah of OWN Boudoir and Sarah Esther Photography. She has photographed me a million times. She did my engagement, wedding, and P’s newborn and 3 month photos. She is INSANELY talented and crazy fun to be around. She has given me a great opportunity to work with her boudoir clients on a weekly basis and I am so grateful that she has taken that chance on me. I hope that I make her proud.

The number one reason that I love working with Sarah is that we are able to make women feel beautiful. Each and every woman that walks into that studio has a story to tell. A lot of them are brides about to get married who want to give their groom an incredibly sexy gift on their wedding day. Some of these women are wives who want to spice up their love life. My favorites are the women that do this for themselves—they want to capture themselves at their very best. They want to feel beautiful inside and out. That is what we do for them. It makes me feel great about myself inside and out—and I hope it rubs off on them!

I’ve done a few weddings here and there and am dabbling into doing hairstyling (on a limited basis). I have a wedding coming up this month that I am super stoked about.

I operate mostly on word of mouth—it is crazy how the opportunities come in. I get calls and facebook messages from people who heard of me through a bride I worked with and it makes me smile. It  means that I have done a good job.

It is a great way to supplement my income while I am staying home with P. Although, that is not really why I do it. I do it to get away from it all for an afternoon and step into the fantasy of girly, pretty, and sexy things. I get to be that trendy well-manicured mommy that seems to have it all and a bag of chips—even if my life is SO not really that way.

My goal from here on out is to share more of this side of my life with each of you. AND maybe give you a few beauty tips and tricks here and there.

Happy Sunday everyone!

Happy 6 Months P!

My baby is 6 months old! It feel s like just yesterday I was counting down the days until her due date and having nightmares about what birth would be like. Now, I would give anything to go back to that day—to relive it over again—to pay better attention to each minute. It just went by too fast. The baby that I had then barely resembles the chunky monkey that I have today. She is rambunctious, sassy and adorable. I love her oh-so-much.

This month has been C-R-A-Z-Y. We had our first beach trip and started solid foods. P has become even more animated and mobile than ever—yet she still isn’t rolling over. My mom says that she is just like her Mommy (I didn’t walk until I was almost two). I guess my girl will do it all in her own time, and I will try not to worry about it.

P loves the bath and the pool. She dislikes the sand and the ocean. This girl loves to be outside no matter the temperature or the weather. She is getting a touch of the stranger danger. My cousin tried to hug her as soon as she walked through the door and P quickly let her know that she was not happy about it. Poor L was scared to hold her the rest of our beach trip. I am secretly happy that she has developed a little more mommy-centeredness. She whines when I walk too far away, and is more interested in cuddling with me.

On the other hand, my baby is mean. She likes to slap, punch, kick, and scratch me when I make her mad—and sometimes just because. I have started pulling back from her and saying no, but she often just smiles at me. I am afraid that she is going to be just as mean as her mommy was as a child. They say you get it back in your own children. I may be in serious trouble.

She is still sleeping in her swaddle because she will slap herself and kick until no end, thus rendering her wide awake during nap and nighttime. We have been struggling in the sleep department for the last two weeks. She often wakes at least one time—and sometimes likes to stay up for an hour or so slamming her legs on her mattress. I have wondered if home girl is possessed.

As I have mentioned previously, her appetite has slowed. We are having a hard time starting solid foods as well. She seems to be more interested in playing than in eating whether it be solids or bottles. I am still pumping for her (go me).

P loves to stare at herself in the mirror. She will even laugh at herself. She likes to talk and even shriek with happiness. She can walk around in her walker and is sitting up for longer periods of time without falling over.

She will roll from side to side while on her back, but will not roll over. She has rolled from tummy to back 3 times, but that is it. The 3 occurrences where months apart.  The docs don’t seem to be too concerned.

She is a slave to her schedule. If she gets out of whack—I know that she will make me pay. She does so often. She is also teething and this has caused some mood swings. We have no actual teeth yet, just a lot of drool and fussiness.

There is so much to look forward to in the next few months and every little milestone is so exciting. I cry every time she does something new.

I am so in love with her little personality and am so grateful for the happy little baby girl that I have. I wouldn’t trade her for a million bucks (although, my hubs might).

I Love you little Piperoo! I am so glad you are mine.

Love,

Mommy

Please Eat!

The past month has been CRAZY, hence my lack of posts. My little munchkin just turned 6 months old (sigh), and we just got back from her first beach trip.

I was so excited to start P on solid foods I could barely contain myself. However, as we approached the middle of her 5^th month something started changing with my girl—she stopped sleeping through the night. UGH! I had been warned about the 4 month sleep regression, but could it really be a while month and a half late? P was waking in the middle of night and staying up from one to two hours. I am just not prepared for this type of sleep deprivation anymore. When she was a newborn—I expected it. Now, not so much.

I started rummaging the internet for ideas on what it could be, and some people said it may be her way of telling us that she is ready for solid foods. So I went out and bought three sweet potatoes, three bananas, and 5 apples. I was so proud of myself while making my homemade baby food. I was hopeful that she would fall in love with the first bite and sleep the whole night through. WELL—she didn’t!

We are struggling mightily with solid foods. She may open her mouth for a bite or two, but then she is done. I have tried homemade, store bought. We have tried rice cereal, oatmeal cereal, applesauce, peaches, sweet potatoes, and bananas. While she will take some better than others (peaches, apples, and sweet potatoes), most of the time she closes those gummy gates and say no thanks! I was frustrated because I really thought that I needed her to eat these solids so that she would sleep more.

Then I read that it probably would not affect her night sleep—so I started to look at her schedule as the culprit. Maybe my baby was just ready for more awake time during the day. At the time she was still taking 4- 90 minute naps a day. I decided to drop her to three naps and also move her to a four hour schedule with three attempts at solids a day. Here is what it looks like:

7:00—wake and bottle

8:00—solids

9:00—nap

11:00—wake and bottle

12:00—solids

1:00—nap

3:00—wake and bottle

5:00—catnap

6:00—wake and bottle

7:00—solids

7:30—bath and then bedtime routine

8:30—Bottle and then bed time

I would like to tell you that this has been an easy fix, and a pleasant transition—but that would be a lie. P has still not returned to sleeping through the night consistently. She does it here and there. Part of her problem may be teething related as well. Who knows? It is better now, because when she wakes in the night she is not getting up and staying up anymore. She takes a little bottle and goes back to sleep.

It seems that my girl is a little too interested in all of the things going on around her lately—and this interferes with her eating drastically. She has become a nightmare to feed. She will never take more than three ounces at a time. Gone are the days when she would eat 30 ounces a day. We are lucky to get to 25. Therefore, she wakes to get some calories at night. I have tried everything I can think of to get her to eat. I offer the bottle what seems like every 5 minutes. She refuses it most of the time.

I guess I can’t complain—my girl is happy all day long. She is a joy to be around in general. She is still chunky as well (she is 2 pounds from tripling her birth weight).

Have any of you dealt with eating issues with your 6 month olds? What did you do to combat them?

My Tips for Exclusive Pumping Moms

 Exclusive pumping is a hard job, and it is not one to be undertaken lightly. I definitely didn’t know what I was getting myself into in the beginning. Now, that things are getting a lot easier for me on the pump front—I thought I would share a few of my tips.

FAQ—these are questions that I had when starting my exclusive pumping journey and the answers that I have found that work for me.

Q: How long should I pump?

A: This is really a tricky one because some people prefer to pump a certain amount of time, some have an volume goal they are trying to reach, and some just pump until empty every time. The answer is different depending where you are in your current pumping journey (and I do consider it a journey).

If I am having a hard time with my supply, then I will pump until empty every single time for a few days. This (to me) means at least 15 minutes or up to five minutes after the last drop. You do not want to do this for too long because your nipples will be really sore.

If I am not concerned about my supply and just want to maintain where I am, then I will pump towards a particular volume goal. My current goal at least 6 ounces per pump.

If I have somewhere to go and don’t have as much time, then I may set my phone timer for 15 minutes and then just cut it off. However, I never pump less than 15 minutes. EVER.

Q: How often do I need to pump?

A: this again is based on where you are in your journey with pumping. In the beginning I was pumping 6 times a day because my baby was eating 6 times a day. However, I eventually got to the point where I was producing almost twice what she was taking in a 24 hour period. I was running out of room in my freezer for all the extras and milk was starting to go bad. So, I cut out a pumping. This is where I currently am in my journey. P still has 6 feedings a day, but I only pump 5 times. I am still able to keep up my supply and her demand plus I am able to save about 6 ounces a day.

If you are just starting out, then I would say that you need to pump as often as your baby eats. Keep a notepad near where you pump/feed your baby with two columns on it. One for the number of ounces your baby takes at each feeding, and one for the number or ounces your pump for that feeding. Add the up at the end of the day and see where you stand.

Q: How do I cut out a pumping without affecting my supply?

A: I cut out a pumping by just increasing the amount of time between pumpings. If you are currently pumping every 3 hours, then start pumping every 4 and cut one out that way.

How Can You Make Exclusive Pumping Easier for You?

This is the biggest issue with exclusive pumping—it is inconvenient. One of the hardest things with pumping is that you are tied to a machine with a plug, and it can make it hard for you to get out. For instance, we have a white water rafting trip planned, and I am going to need to go 6 hours without pumping. This is not ideal, but I am going to have to figure out a way to make it work.

Here are the things that I have found to make my life easier while pumping

1.       Get a hands free pumping bra—This saved my life. I am a work from home mom, and when my husband is not home there are times that I have to feed P and pump at the same time in order to be as efficient as possible. I picked up a hands free pumping bra and I will never hold the bottles while pumping again! It allows me to have my hands free to hold P or work while pumping.

2.       Get a car adapter for your pump—I have pumped in the car while driving and while being a passenger more times than that can count on both hands. It makes getting out of the house so much easier. When I have a makeup job, then I pump on the way there, and then on my way home. The adapter saves me from having to pump while I am there! It also makes date night a lot easier.

3.       Get extra pump parts and extra bottles for storage. Getting these extras will just mean that you have to wash less.

4.       Pack your pump bag the night before when you can. It is often a mad dash getting ready to go somewhere in my family. Therefore, I like to pack everything up ahead of time if I can so that I will not forget something important.

5.       Grab some Medela steam bags for quick sterilization for pump and bottle parts.

6.       Get some quick clean wipes for cleaning your pump on the go.

Here is what My schedule with pumping currently looks like

7:00 am—Wake P and feed

7:30—Pump

8:30—P’s nap

10:00—Wake P and feed

11:00—pump

11:30—P’s nap

1:00 pm—Wake P and feed

2:30—P’s nap

3:00—Pump

4:00—Wake P and feed

5:30—P’s nap

7:00—Wake P and hubby gives P a bottle while I pump

7:45—P’s cereal feeding

8:00—bath time

8:30—P’s bedtime

10:30—Last pumping of the day

11:00-P’s dream feed

I hope that these things help you exclusive pumpers out there! I wish you the best of luck and the most encouragement I can. I know we all need it!