Thursday, March 16, 2017

Where Are You Summer?

Life has been so stinkin' crazy around here. I mean, let me be honest, I have been a big slacker in the blogging department lately. It's mostly due to the fact that our lives are so chaotic in the winter months that I feel like I barely have enough time to do my jobs (educator, wife, and mom) much less tell you all about how I am flailing daily. AND I do mean FAILING too. I can't wait for summer to come so that I can have time to relax and catch up on some good quality family time.

My life in January becomes an endless cycle of dropped balls. Add in my husband's soccer, my experience coaching Mock Trial this year, P's two new activities each week, and my mom's recent hip replacement surgery, and I'm just reeling from the stress. There is never enough time to do anything, and yet, when I get time all I want to do is lay like a vegetable on the couch and watch The Bachelor or something equally ridiculous. Please tell me that I am not the only one...Anyone?

Since Piper's Birthday time has just flown by. She is such an amazing little ball of energy. I fall more in love with her each and every day. I am loving how vocal she is lately. She will often compliment me on my outfit or tell me that my hair is pretty. One of her new favorite names for me is sweetie. I'm not sure where that comes from. She is so full of love, and spunk all at the same time.

Her Birthday party was spectacular. It was my best creation yet. Here are some pics of the things I created for it. This is by far my favorite thing to do all year! It is a labor of love, and one way that I choose to show my love to my daughter. I hope she looks back on these pictures one day and is proud of the work that I did for her.

My mom recently had hip replacement surgery, and while I went down for the weekend, I really wasn't of much help. My dad took fabulous care of her, but I won't lie. It is a scary thing to have a parent that is ill. It is a reminder of the fragility of life. One that makes me have nightmares at night.

Photo taken by P herself!

I turned 30 last week, and I didn't meet it with much kindness. I wasn't looking forward to it. We went out to dinner as a family of 3. It was nice and quaint, and just how it should be. I am going to Vegas this summer for my 30th with my besties from High School to celebrate. I cannot wait. Confronting the idea of getting older is something that is new to me, and it is something that brings a ton of fear into my mind. I am not quite where I thought I would be by 30. BUT I am so incredibly lucky to have the life that I lead each day.

I constantly struggle with the what's next in my life. So much of growing up is about getting through these milestone in life. You are always looking forward to what is next. Always thinking, "What do I have to do to get to this next point." Now in my 30s--I am struggling with what is next in my life. I have a career, and a family--So what is next for me. It's the uncertainty that I don't like.

So until then I just pour myself into this little piece of perfection that I created. I try to focus on providing new and great experiences for P. Ballet and Gymnastics. Playdates with friends. Trips to Disney World. Maybe, possibly, hopefully a sibling to grow up with. Teaching manners, and good habits. Trying to curb the temper and hard-headedness that is already grasping her three year old self. Molding, shaping, hoping, and praying that the decisions I make and will make are best for her. I guess that is what is next for me. Still I know, no matter what, that it will never be enough, yet it will also never be too much.

What do you think?


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