Sorry for my absence...
I have been feeling like I didn't have much to write about these days. You know, besides things I have already said a million times.
P and I got back from Hilton Head, and she did great in the car on the way home. I am still nervous about our 10 hour trip to Virginia this summer, but not as much as I was before taking her to Hilton Head. I think it was a success. I am considering, though, stopping half way and spending the night in a hotel.
We are now facing a whole new monster in our household. It is called the tantrum. I always heard that toddlers could be challenging--particularly once they are two. BUT P is quite the tantrum thrower and she is 13 months. Who lied to me and who do I need to kill about this? Kidding...but I'm kind of not.
Last night I felt so bad because P pitched a fit when I handed her to J so that he could take her upstairs for her bath and bed time routine. It was so bad that he deemed it unsafe to bathe her. He had never seen her like this, but I had. It has become commonplace at least once a day in our house. Usually while J is working, P will get angry at something I do (it's different everyday.) She will scream and slap, swat, kick, and scratch in my general direction. Nothing seems to soothe her for a few minutes.
I am at a loss for how to deal with this. While I know that she is smarter than I think--I know she does not have the mental capacity to reason with yet. So, I don't feel that I can do time out or many other forms of behavior management with her. There has got to be something that I can do about this. Right?
I am growing increasingly nervous that I am raising a spoiled brat. I don't know how it happened, and I certainly don't know how to protect against it. I am worried about her going to daycare or preschool because she is so attached to me. This girl has a strong will and I wouldn't put it past her to cry all day long. UGH!
I have decided that she many need to start getting some socialization once a week or so. I am considering a few options that would involve her being with other babies without me. I think that may help with the clingyness.
What do you do to curb tantrums in your home?
After doing some research, here is what I found:
ReplyDeleteSurviving the tantrum
The most important things to remember when your child is in the throes of a tantrum are:
a) Don't punish the child.
b) Don't reward the child.
c) Stay calm and ignore the behavior to the extent possible.
d) Keep the child safe.
e) Isolate the child if possible.
f) Don't let the disapproval of other people affect your response to the tantrum.
When your child throws a tantrum, she is essentially out of control. You must make sure that you stay firmly in control. Punishing the child for throwing a tantrum, by yelling or spanking for example, makes the tantrum worse in the short term and prolongs the behavior in the long term. Trying to stop the tantrum by giving in to the child's demands is even worse. This is the way to teach a child to use tantrums for manipulation, and will cause the behavior to continue indefinitely, even into adulthood.
At Home
When the child throws a tantrum at home, calmly carry her to a place where she can be left safely by herself, such as a crib or a playpen. Then leave the room, shut the door, and don't go back until she calms down. When the child is calm, have a talk with her about her behavior. If you don't feel safe leaving the child alone, stay with her, but don't respond to the tantrum in any way. Don't even make eye contact.
In Public
If the child throws a tantrum in public, carry him out of the public area if possible, and take him to a place where you can have some privacy. The best place to take him is to the car, where he can be buckled into his car seat. Then you stand near the car or sit in the car and wait it out without reacting to the tantrum. When the tantrum subsides, talk to the child about his behavior, and then return to your activities.
Thanks Caitlin! That is great advice!
DeleteThanks Caitlin! That is great advice!
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